


All he Remembered, All he Forgot

by Joahchime



Category: Bug Fables (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I don't know how to tag for anything else without spoilers, Identity Issues, Let's just say there are mean bugs ahead, Spoilers for Leif's Request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23993536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joahchime/pseuds/Joahchime
Summary: What if nothing got thrown out, after all?
Relationships: Leif/Muse (Bug Fables)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63





	1. The Scouting Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Now that those who haven't played through Leif's Request aren't able to see this anymore, I'll explain things a little further.  
> This is an AU where Leif's body was actually taken into Upper Snakemouth and his cordyceps self was implanted in the lab, such that he could be further experimented on. I found it pretty silly that the Roaches would simply throw away a magical cordyceps before they even put it into a host, so the AU kind of wrote itself from there.  
> This story took a fair bit of inspiration from the Handplates Undertale AU. If you've ever read that comic, then you know what you're in for.

Leif waited next to the doors of the throne room, looming doors to those who weren’t frequent visitors. Inside was a discussion about an upcoming mission, which was something he wasn't often privy to, save from the stories of Muse's frequent escapades. She was built for this kind of work, so her stories always came as light and triumphant. 

Despite that, he knew that this mission was different than others, though he knew Muse wouldn't have admitted it. And that was part of why he was there.

Though, he wouldn’t have admitted that he was nervous. Perhaps it was something they had in common. 

He nearly let out a snicker at that thought, but he looked up, peering around the castle’s entrance. There were plenty of ants at work, and he didn’t intend to look anything other than composed. After all, getting an invitation to the palace while not being an ant was still something of a rarity, and he intended to dignify the honor.

So he kept himself preoccupied with his thoughts. And thoughts on the mission simply demanded his attention most.

This was a scouting mission. They were uncommon, even for actual adventurers. Normally, a mission would comprise a bug needing help, an evident solution and the steps to achieving that end. This place, however, was much more involved. It required a strategy.

This was Snakemouth Den, and Elizant knew that this place couldn’t be dealt with in one go, not without some solid information. Reports of bugs disappearing were coming in from kingdoms all across the land, and they were all pointing to this cave as the cause.

Sure, there were monsters, as there were in many corners of the world. But there were more details to consider. There was a (though nearly supposed at this point with how little they interacted with the outside world) village of Roaches that lived in Snakemouth Den. And while them being shy wasn’t abnormal, all the disappearances shed that shyness in a new light.

His nervousness rose at that. He contemplated the temptation to fidget, or even walk around, but he reminded himself that some of these ants also had some idea of that he was there because he was potentially going on this mission. It could spark jealousy, for an ant soldier to see a normally scholarly bug go on such an important mission while being clearly nervous and untrained.

So he reminded himself of the other element of the mission, that being evidence, which was newly pieced together by researchers, that an artifact for the Everlasting Sapling resided in that cave. And the Everlasting Sapling was something that Elizant had been searching for a long time now. This added its own kind of necessity to exploring the place, one that felt much more grand and much less dangerous, regardless of if it actually was.

But such a grand importance still reminded him of potential mistakes, and consequence, and failure, and other things he’d rather not think about. So he resigned himself to taking in the craftmanship of the doors to stave off his thoughts, as his pulse trembled quietly beneath his cloak of wings.

He didn’t have to study those doors for long, though. Finally they opened, and he was told by the opener to enter. He made his way, giving some thought to each of his steps now that he was in the throne room. The stained glass was shining, making Muse, standing off to the side of the Queen's throne, look quite beautiful. Her presence did wonders to calm him despite it all. He made his thankful smile towards her quick, but emphatic, causing her eyes to crinkle with her reciprocating one.

Once he was in front of the Queen, however, he gave her his full attention. They exchanged greetings with care, after which she spoke first.

"Thank you for waiting for us. I hope you didn't mind Muse and I discussing matters privately. It is only out of our concern for you." 

"Not at all. I always appreciate your care, and I understand the dangers. What conclusions did you come to?"

She took a moment to just let out a breath, as if to put off her answer. "Yes, we have decided that you are a necessity. You have learned the Roach dialect to fluency, and with how much the Roaches are suspect in these disappearances, as well as how much they are relevant to our wider goals, someone who could speak to them if they are found is essential. And while there are others who know their language, they are all researchers, who all have a different role to play in this investigation. To top it all off, you are observant, brave, and… I suspect you work quite well with Muse."

"There are very few bugs with that trait!" Muse chirped, and Leif nodded, shooting her another secret smile. Elizant always knew how to make the bugs around her feel important.

The Queen continued. "Of course, though, it is up to you. This mission is important, but your safety is equally so, and no one can make a decision of whether that may be put at risk but yourself." 

Her words demanded introspection, but Leif spoke up quick. He'd already done all the thinking in the world, and wasn’t about to let anything change his mind.

"There is no need to worry. I am committed to this. The disappearances of so many bugs is not something I'm willing to turn a blind eye to any longer, and I know how important this is to the goals of our kingdom as well. There's no sense in putting my safety over all that's at stake. Besides, we needn't be in there long, we just need to get a concept of what's going on. The dangers shouldn't have to affect us."

Elizant's stance softened when Leif didn't waver any after he finished. He kept a good hold on that pulse of his. "Thank you… And yes, you should be able to avoid any danger with this mission. However, to ensure that all goes smoothly, I insist that a third member be added to your group." She turned to an ant standing by in the corridor, and requested that she bring in this person.

In came a dragonfly, with a backpack that made it look like she was carrying an entire other bug on her back. She trudged up to the Queen, smiling but not making eye contact with the others just yet. “This is Zephyr. She’ll be able to help if things start to go awry, as she specializes in sedative darts, and other tools.”

“Yep,” she said, a little quietly but not without confidence. “I live by my tools, and I have something for every situation. I hope to make this mission a smooth one.”

“Greetings Zephyr,” Leif said. 

“Hey!” Muse chimed in.

With the three of them assembled there, Leif could see confidence swelling back into Elizant's face. “Alright. You all know what to do: go as deep as you can, discover as much as there is to find, and report back. I pray you all return well.”

With that, the newly assembled scouting team was free to leave, and make their preparations for the mission tomorrow morning.

The sun was bright over the Outskirts, though a brisk wind denied it’s rays their usual warmth. The group trudged through tall grasses, which were bothersome to traverse through with them covered in dew. Leif muttered in discomfort as a particularly assertive grass blade bopped him, refusing to understand his desire to pass.

“Hehe, too cold for you?” Muse asked. She was having an easier time of it, planting sure steps with her strong legs that the grasses couldn't contest with.

"Hm, and too wet." He finally got his assailant to yield, rustling his wings in an attempt to become dry again. Muse was about to comment further on his hardships when Zephyr cut in.

“Angry seedlings up ahead," Zephyr indicated.

"Those surely make things more comfortable, don’t they?” Leif muttered.

Leif stepped back as the other two got combat ready. Zephyr, with a volley of various pointy objects, took one on that was remaining more aloof than the others, while Muse took on two at once with her unrivalled kicks.

Despite how easy of a time Muse was having of it, Leif noticed himself encroaching on Muse's side of the fight. He stayed behind her to keep out of it, but he was surely closer to the seedling squabble than an untrained bug normally should be. He justified it as a means of getting used to violent monsters for the mission ahead. But Muse continued to fight as if dancing, and the seedlings look frustrated because of it. 

In a flash, though, off to the side, Zephyr’s seeding swiftly darted towards the others. It was an erratic movement, one that Zephyr's aim couldn't match.

“Right!” Leif shouted from right behind Muse, and she acted as if on instinct. A decisive kick split the air at the perfect moment. The seedling, who likely thought itself quite smart a moment ago, was careening through the air like a child’s ball. The other two seedlings, battered and startled, fled at that.

“Haha, got ‘em!” Muse struck a pose, but it was short lived, as she whirled around to Leif. “Great job, hun!” She grabbed his hand from under his wing cloak and shot it into the air, insistent that he soak up the glory of his first victory in combat.

“Thanks." He knew his help was minor, but he was glad she enjoyed it.

Zephyr came over, after gathering some of the darts she’d thrown. Her smile was a bit nervous “Hey, sorry about that." The apology was unwarranted with the two of them in triumph, but Leif approved of her manners.

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s not often that Leif and I get to show off how much of a power couple we can be!”

“Oh, you two are a couple?”

“We're not just a couple, we're newlyweds! Ah, Leif, you’re not making it clear enough! How dare you, letting there be any doubt? And in the presence of another woman?!” Muse exclaimed, though she fluffed Leif’s neck fur all the same. Zephyr giggled at the display as Leif couldn't help but blush.

“Ah yes," he put on a stately tone to contrast his glowing cheeks, "adversarial female, I do believe I am taken.” It was only then that Muse released him from her public display of affection.

“Good to know,” Zephyr answered after her giggles subsided. “Let’s continue, you love bugs. I do think Snakemouth’s entrance is up ahead.

The inside of the cave was fortunately well lit by scattered beams of the oddly cold sunlight. This, however, made the ground soft, allowing mud to stick to the team of bugs that had to scour every nook and cranny as their mission. 

“Welp, it’s a cave, you guys. Let's write that down!” Muse crowed from off to the side.

Leif, smirk in tow, was ready to supply a barrage of important scouting information about the cave's cold, damp and irksome dirt, but when he looked up, he spotted a strange switch in the distance.

"Actually, now it's a cave with a strange switch.” 

Leif went over to inspect it and the others followed. He crossed a bridge and got up close to it. Up close like this, it only took a short, scholarly glance for him to know what to do. He gave the thing a firm smack.

It lit up in a vivid blue, which was a bit startling, although in hindsight he should have expected it. 

“...Huh,” Leif commented, once no other result seemed to follow.

“Alright, what does this tell us?” Muse asked with a huff, underwhelmed.

“Well, it’s technology. So now it’s super clear that there are in fact other bugs down here.” Zephyr responded.

“Yes, the Roaches are certainly down here. They make use of this strange sort of power for their inventions. I don’t know exactly how it works, but I certainly do recognize it.” Zephyr took out a notebook to write Leif's words.

Muse began tapping her foot, drawing attention from the little discovery. "I really do hope we get to meet some Roaches. I want to give them a piece of my mind for not helping out with all these disappearances. They seem to be happening in their own backyards, after all!" Muse shook a fist.

“Well now, we don’t know for sure if the Roaches really have anything to do with all that.” Zephyr whispered, as a plea to not speak so loud in case the mysterious Roaches could hear her.

"Perhaps…" He was willing to believe her for the sake of hoping that this mission wouldn't involve dealing with shady Roaches, but resilient nerves kept that belief from taking hold.

Continuing on, the team found themselves in a cavernous room. On the far wall was a door that made the door for the Ant Kingdom’s throne room look like one for a dollhouse. 

The cave floor was much rockier there, making the three large metal plates protruding from the ground all the more odd. The group went to investigate, and found that two of them on either side glowed and shifted with weight. The hypothesis that these would open the door was quickly formed, so different combinations of the three of them stood on the plates, most of which being Muse's excuses to have Leif and her show off in the blue light, their poses receiving light applause from Zephyr every now and then.

They were all eventually stumped, however. Muse, wandering off from an in-depth discussion on weight, physics, and other topics that became much farther from their goal than anticipated, kicked a boulder. A chunk slid off, startling the two, though Leif quickly congratulated her for being a genius. She twirled around mid walking towards her next rocky victim, but accepted the compliment without thinking twice.

Once the three pushed it on one of the plates, Zephyr got a glint in her eye. Before Leif could inquire, she had burrowed in her bag and found an axe-like wooden construct, threw it at a stalactite and knocked it down. 

With the two pieces pushed into place, the whole chamber itself rumbled, but nothing actually changed.

“I guess the Roaches had no idea what they’re doing. They probably went and got those thousand ton doors stuck, can’t leave their village, and all starved to death. Now I guess I can’t blame them for not helping with the disappearances. They’ve got their own problems.”

Muse was never one to let a window of opportunity go by. And it was an effective blow, leaving Leif in laughter for long enough that Zephyr started looking for more clues on her own.

"Hey," she began once Leif recovered, "this part of the floor is a sheet of metal. Maybe it really is another pressure plate, and it just looks different from the others. The three of us standing on this one might work."

"Right," Leif said, reasserting a dignified tone, "good thinking." Muse chuckled a bit in his ear before following along.

The three of them, stepping with a force that was reserved for malfunctioning technology, all planted themselves on the supposed third pressure plate, and waited.

Without warning, the metal sheet split in two and swung straight down. In an instant, the only thing remaining in the room were the teams shocked cries.

The bugs were left in a pile, only illuminated by the distant sunlight that came through the still open trap door. 

"Are you okay, Muse?" Were the first intelligible words spoken, amongst groans accompanying the groups' attempt to stand.

"Yeah, I'm alright. How about you, love?"

“It seems like my leg is off… but I’m fine as well. I can still walk.”

Zephyr seemed to be doing the best, which is why she didn’t take issue with the others not asking about her condition. She looked up. The lack of light formed shadows that made it hard to tell how far they had fallen, but she turned back to the team optimistically.

“I guess the Queen really did account for everything. I am able to fly, after all. It’d be rough, but I can carry each of you one by one, and then my bag, so that we can get back up there.”

“Oh, and lose the opportunity to explore this ditch? But it must be super important down here.” Muse groaned, but it caused Leif to have a sinking realization.

“Muse is right. That was a nasty fall, and not just because of the distance. It seems to me like this could very well be intentional. The mechanisms above certainly lend themselves to someone making this conclusion in hopes of opening that large door.”

“You do have a point there!” Zephyr exclaimed, a jarring contrast to Leif's uncertainty.

“Why yes, I do have bright ideas quite frequently.” Muse chirped. Zephyr giggled, but Leif's smile was weary.

The team continued to look around, though the lack of light quickly thwarted them. Zephyr consulted her bag, but only had a handful of bioluminescent moss to work with.

They shoved it into many corners, in hopes of any kind of lead on why they ended up down there, or anything of interest at all, but the tunnel was continuing to just look like a dark cave and nothing more.

As they progressed, though, the team was dimly realizing that a lot of the rocks strewn about looked a lot more like debris, debris that were covered in dust and foreboding strands. 

They all were about to stop, to consult whether or not this was enough evidence to go back and request that more fighters join them in the search of this ominous dungeon, when one of Leif's steps was swallowed by an unseen crater. His injured leg reacted violently, leaving him tumbling with attempts to reclaim his footing. But after flailing a ways away from the others, he couldn't keep from falling after all. And yet, he didn't fall.

Once the initial relief of not having hit the ground faded, his heart sunk. He tried to get up, but his motions were denied. He then tried to rip himself free, but all that did for him was get his right arm stuck in the web's recoil.

“Wait, don’t struggle!” Zephyr cried, the two of them rushing over “I’ve heard that if a spider is around, and you move in its web, you’ll alert it to your presence!”

At that, they all froze with a monstrous roar that filled the tunnel. Zephyr's warning had turned into a prophecy.

“Curses!” cried Leif, as it was too late to be quiet or careful.

Yellow eyes shined just enough to reveal the form of the spider, huge and menacing, crawling down the web to meet them.

"I'll kick this web down!" Muse roared herself, raising a knee high.

“Don’t!” Leif stopped her leg midair. “You’ll get stuck in it too!”

She allowed for a brief pause, but fired off her kick. It was for the spider, fast enough to already be in range. This got it to change its course. It jumped off the web with incredible strength, and faced the group from the other side.

Muse growled and sprinted to confront it, leaving Leif to cringe at the display which straddled the line between courage and recklessness.

Zephyr rushed in her place, putting her bag down next to her. “Don’t worry, while Muse holds it off I’ll cut you down.” She pulled out a sharp stake, forcefully grinding it into one of the strands. “...Huh?” The stake wasn’t doing damage. After putting some extra effort into it, she attempted to pull the stake away, but it was just as stuck as Leif was. 

“...Good thing I got Muse to hold back.” Leif let out a shaky breath.

“Yeah... This web is no joke. It… really doesn’t seem right.” She was fishing through her bag for something particular deep inside. Once she found the wooden shears she was looking for, hope returned to her face. She quickly worked at the strand her stake had failed to cut. She tried applying more force, changing their trajectory, even sawing at the strand, despite that not being how shears work. Nothing happened.

“By the Queen!” she grimaced, as her shears met the same fate as her stake. “I’ve cut spider webs before! This doesn’t make any sense…”

Zephyr made a desperate look through her bag, but Leif hardly noticed. His attention was fixed on how Muse was fairing. She was keeping pace with the spider, able to read its movements just enough because of its size impairing its speed. But one strong attack could really do a number on her, and unlike the spider, she was slowing down from all the combat.

After one of her kicks to its head, the spider, unphased, threw its head erratically. The momentum threw her towards the web, but she caught herself just in time. Leif clenched his jaw. He wanted to trust her, but each of the rattled breaths she took was transforming that faith into worry.

Zephyr let out the first distressed syllable of what she was about to say, coming out of her backpack, but a shriek from the spider cut her off. She lit up before tunneling back in her bag after being reminded of its presence.

But the spider wasn't shrieking for show. It charged towards its web, where the three of them all were. Leif watched the beast with the distracted state of his team in mind. As soon as the spider made his intended strike clear, Leif shouted “Down!”

Zephyr managed to duck with her hand still in her bag, while Muse quickly rolled out of the way, off to the side. With that, she kicked its side, causing it to stumble slightly and redirect its attention away from the web. The strike just made it fight harder, however, throwing Muse off.

"I'll kill you!!" she screamed, leaning her rage into the energy she had left.

Leif was about to shout something out to her, something to voice his tower of worries that was just about to collapse, but Zephyr’s shout of “Found it!” made him pause. She was holding a sleep bomb over her head. “Muse, give me room!”

Muse rushed off with a smirk, and the spider roared, which was an unexpectedly relieving thing.

Zephyr chucked the bomb with a shout it her own. It went off next to the creature's still open maw.

The creature, with a contemplative expression despite being such a mindless beast, paused there. After a moment, it went to continue its rampage, but it stumbled instead, and fell to the ground.

“Phew…” Zephyr exhaled. Muse, however, let out a war cry. She ran, jumped, and stomped down on the spider's side with all of her weight. 

The others cringed, but the spider hardly even flinched. Really, her kicks didn't seem to be doing anything.

Zephyr, slowly and softly, walked over to the spider as well, another stake in hand. Muse moved aside as Zephyr knelt in front of it, looking as if she was testing something rather than readying to attack. She raised her arms, and hurled them down, point of the stake towards the spider’s side. The stake merely bounced off.

“Woah…” Zephyr stood up and stepped back. “None of this is normal.”

“That thought occurred to me too…” The words quivered out of Muse, and Leif really felt that. He knew she had helped to take down many large, monstrous creatures. And Leif practically never saw Muse admitting to any sort of defeat. 

Both of these bugs were sure this thing was not normal, and Leif was stuck in its web.

“...But that’s fine!” Muse announced, anger thrown over her quivering tone. “I’ll find it’s weak point! I’ll kick at its eyes until it can’t see anything and - and-!”

“Muse!” Leif's tower of worries had collapsed. She looked up at him, her anger quickly dying back to distress once her gaze met his. “The two of you are going to have to leave me behind.”

“No! Absolutely not!” Muse started up a rant, it died when Leif went on speaking.

“You both know this isn’t normal, and I thought the same thing. At this rate, it seems like we’ll at least need more support, if not fire or some other drastic measure, to harm this spider or cut down its web. We all know this to be true, so there’s no point in having you two stay in danger.”

“Zephyr!” Muse shouted, a desperate spark in her eye, “don’t you have something that can make fire in that bag?!”

Zephyr barely managed to shake her head, but tried her best to put on a calm, explanatory tone. “If I kept anything flammable and something went awry, all my tools would burn and the sedatives released into the air would put us to sleep." When Muse's expression didn't faulter, she tried a little more. "Fire simply wasn’t something I anticipated needing.”

"Seriously?!" All her rage was misdirected at Zephyr, if only for an instant.

Leif kept her from a tirade once more. “You need to leave, before the spider wakes and leaves you without the option.”

“No! I won’t leave you! I don’t care what happens, I’m not going to leave you!”

“And that’s _exactly_ why I need you to leave me!” Muse was stunned by his tone. Leaving Leif the chance to say his true thoughts. “I didn’t say anything, but this is part of the reason why I went on this mission with you. You’re invincible, I know. But this mission is different than anything you ever faced. I knew that you’d keep fighting if you ran into something dangerous, but with something as uncertain as this... If we lose me, we just lose me. But if we lose you, we lose more than just you…” 

Muse staggered, rendered speechless by the realization she felt she should have had by now.

“If it’s your job to explore, to protect Bugaria, then it’s my job to protect you, and our future…”

Muse turned away from him, clutching her sides and nearly shaking. Leif couldn't stand to see her that way, which is why he was thankful when Zephyr managed to speak up. 

“Look, we can do this. The spider’s asleep, and I can fly us out of here. All we need to do is get help as fast as we can. We could surely get someone with fire back here before anything goes wrong.”

It took Muse a moment to put her arms and her tumultuous emotions down, but once she was ready, she whirled around. “Of course! My legs can run faster than the legs of any other bug in Bugaria! We’ll be back before you know it, sweetheart!” As if like new, she took off back to where they came.

Zephyr acted fast in kind. She grabbed a jar out of her bag, opened it and poured the contents next to the spider’s partially open mouth. “That’s for good measure.” She quickly came back to Leif next. “Here, one for your free arm and one for your other hand.” She handed him two sleep darts. “That way you still have a chance if we’re not back in time.” He nodded, and she ran off, leaving her heavy bag behind.

With them gone, a fear like nothing he’d ever experienced began to set in. Of course, the first real mission he’d ever gone on, and it managed to read his worst nightmares and put his life and everything he cared about in danger in an instant.

He wasn’t just in a bad spot, he was stuck to a bad spot, unable to move even a little lest he make a wrong motion and the web took another of his limbs. All he could do was watch the sleeping monster, keep track of its breaths in order to have some concept of how much time had passed, and how close it was to waking up.

He flicked through thoughts of what he’d do if it awakened. His free arm wasn’t his good one, after all. He doubted that he’d be able to land a shot if he threw the dart he held. Maybe he’d have to wait until the very right moment to strike it? It’d be when the spider was up close, in his face, likely inches away, as he’d need to hit the weakest spot to hope that the dart would pierce.

The spider stirred, and a breath caught in Leif’s chest. It was only one stir, though, so he tried to calm himself again. The rest of his team would be back soon enough, after all.   
Although, he hated to think what would happen if the spider really was too much. Maybe this monster, alone, was the cause of all the disappearances. Perhaps it just went after everyone who entered here, by whatever means, and no one left alive since. It could have even spelled the end for the Roaches. After all, they were awfully reclusive for a group of people living in a cave. Did they not need any trade? Not even sunlight? Maybe they weren’t even here anymore.

He knew he was being paranoid, but these thoughts still made his mind drift back to Muse, and the danger she could be in if she came back, even with help. He hated worrying about her so much, in ordinary circumstances he would have trusted her completely. She was a hero, especially in his eyes. But now… it was different. There were lives on the line now, more than one, lives he cared about so deeply even if he hadn’t met them yet… and he couldn’t bear to see that destroyed. 

He cursed himself for not having been more insistent about her skipping this, even though it was supposed to be just a scouting mission, and even though they had found out about those new lives after she had already accepted this mission straight from the Queen. Even if she was the best bug for the job, even if he did trust her, the two of them taking this mission just wasn’t right. Too much was at stake. At this rate, he even wondered if it would be for the best for her to return here at all.

As if answering his thought, the spider shifted one too many times for comfort. Leif reflexively rose his free arm, staring intently at the monster as it shook itself out of its daze.

He was going to go down fighting. Even if part of him didn’t want his help to come at all, he didn’t simply want to be a sacrifice either. The odds were nigh impossible, but he intended to make his way out of this.

The spider finally came back to its senses, and in a flash it was racing back to its web. It came near Leif, but Leif forced his instinct to flinch down.

He knew this wasn’t close enough yet.

It stared at him, from this distance, for a strangely long time, as if it was trying to draw his pounding heart out of his chest by the suspense alone.

But finally, it came even closer, seemingly to take in his scent. Leif made himself inspect every inch of the spider’s gruesome features, trying to find the best place to strike as fast as possible. He knew it would be a risk, but he had no choice but to go for an eye, the only thing not covered by the spider's confounding hide.

As soon as that thought came to him, he thrust his dart with all his power at the spider.

But it knew. Of course it knew, it could see him. And, as if the spider planned Leif's downfall, the course of Leif's thrust carried his dart into his other, stuck arm.

With that, Leif knew that was it. Although it was only a graze, not enough to put him to sleep, it did a number on his focus, and there was a chance that he wouldn't be conscious for much longer.

In the haze that suddenly gripped his mind, all he could think to do was clutch onto the other dart, in a desperate hope that it would cause the spider to fall asleep mid eating him, or whatever else this beast intended to do. But whatever his fate was, now it was really for the spider to decide.

And what it decided was to begin to wrap him up. The spider produced even more webbing and laid it all over him, with surprising accuracy for such a brute.

There was nothing Leif could do, save for doing his best to make sure that last sleep dart stuck out of his slowly building enclosure of web.

His vision blurred, but only for a moment. Whether it was the stress or the sedatives, the consciousness he was clinging onto was starting to fade. The webbing, tight and binding, was coming up to his neck, and all he could do was cringe.

And then, suddenly, a crystal flew through the air. It arced through one of the gaps in the web’s strands, and landed a little ways away from the web. With that, the spider’s priorities changed. It went over to the crystal, and without a second thought, started chomping.

Leif, who didn't even know something could eat a crystal until now, was wondering if he had just started dreaming, if the reality he was truly experiencing was simply too gruesome and his mind felt the need to escape to this odd idea instead. But then he heard voices, too clear to be delusions, from behind the web.

It was hard to hear what the voices were saying, though. It seemed like they weren’t even speaking Bugnish at all. But that’s when his foggy mind finally let something click, it wasn’t Bugnish. These were Roaches behind him.

What a time, he thought, to have to figure out if all his studying of the Roach dialect would actually allow him to understand it from natives.

“...about time we got another one.”

“Let’s see what kind…”

“Do you have your…?”

There seemed to be three of them. He couldn’t make out much of what they were saying, what with how hard it was to even stay awake. He figured it would be better for him to just try his hand at speaking.

“H-hey! Can you… help me?” His mind could barely find the words, and they came out more slurred than he would have liked.

“Oho, well this one speaks," one of them said. Leif assumed he didn't understand the sentence right.

Silence followed, but was broken by the start of a strange whirring sound. A blue light from behind him cast erie shadows on the cave ahead. And then, he felt one of the strands supporting his body break. And another one. Somehow, he was being freed. Relief washed over him. Maybe all really would be okay. He'd reunite with Muse, they could leave this mistake behind and at least report the dangers they found so far.

However, something was odd. His body as a whole was being released from the web, but the strands surrounding him remained just as tight as they were when the spider wrapped him up.

His body landed with a hard thud, a bit too hard considering these bugs were supposed to be rescuing him. Maybe the Roaches would have gotten stuck if they touched his wrappings, and just needed him to be at a different angle to break them?

“Here, … wrapped up!” One of the Roaches said. With that, there were a few footsteps, and he was lifted up. Two Roaches started carrying him from either side.

“Wait! You can let me go! I… can walk!” 

None of them responded.

His hopes fell through his stomach. 

The words they seemed to be saying, their refusal to fully release him, their clear lack of concern for him, their ability to deal with the spider, the trap door that would have doomed him, all on its own, if he hadn’t been with a bug that could fly...

All signs pointed to the Roaches being the ones responsible for the disappearances.

With that, Leif resorted to thrashing. With the way they spoke, he wanted to find out what they intended to do with him even less than he wanted to find out what the stomach of a spider was like.

He needed to leave, to warn his team, to report back to Elizant so no one else ever had to end up like this. A team could even be coming for his rescue right at that very moment, and he was leading right into these Roaches’ treacherous hands.

The Roaches carrying him had to stop to hold him, doing so with gruff irritation instead of the concern they were supposed to have for another living bug.

“Ey, … do something about this?” One asked. He then got to get a good look at one of their faces. It loomed over him, cold. Leif wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t find any more foriegn words through the fear and the fog. The face turned, looked him over, and then Leif saw a smile form on it.

“Look, he’s more than … wrapped up for us.” This one said. With that, the sleep dart was forcefully ripped out of Leif’s hand.

“No!” Leif shouted, in Bugnish this time. He scrambled for some kind of plea in the Roach dialect as they spoke amongst themselves.

“I knew the spider … sleepy. That backpack … interesting as well.”

“This one really tried... Though … he’s barely staying awake himself. How interesting.”

“Well, … it’s time to say good night.”

The sinister eyes of the Roach that took his dart met Leif’s frantic ones. “You’re going to become something grand…” he said. 

Leif didn’t even have a chance to flinch, before the dart plunged into his neck.


	2. The Lab

Two Roaches worked in a dark lab.

“It’s a failure. Yet another one…”

“Disgusting. If it keeps up like this, our research…”

“Ugh. Throw it out with the others. We should call it a day…”

A third Roach entered, carrying something.

“Come now, you two keep deeming them failures before you even implant them. Stop jumping to conclusions.”

The Roaches seemed surprised by what the third one held.

“You… really got one?”

“Yes. It’s time to see what we can really do.”

His eyes opened. He felt cold metal beneath him, and saw harsh blue light above. Save for his senses, his mind was blank. He felt uneasy, but this was only a whisper.

“Great, you’re awake. Get up.” A rough voice rang through the room.

With nothing but this meaning filling his mind, the words pulled him up instantly. He met the gaze of a Roach. 

“You can stand, can’t you?”

Contrarily, this didn’t register. So instead, he slowly surveyed the room. The metal he was on was raised, off the ground, and it was waist height, next to this Roach. This Roach was standing...

Right. 

He pushed himself off. He landed next to the Roach, but he nearly tumbled before barely grabbing hold of his equilibrium. Strange.

He was steady after this, but the Roach was staving off snickers anyway. “You better be able to walk. Follow me.”

They left that room, and went to a bigger one. A much bigger one. Dull tile clinked beneath their feet, along with the sounds of water, which the center of the room was entirely filled with. They walked briskly past some other Roaches, most of which stopped and stared with intriguing looks as they passed.

They went into a smaller room again, but not nearly as small as the first. It had a screen off to the side, and around were a lot of strange openings, contraptions and cameras. 

The Roach he had followed went to the screen, pressed on a keyboard, and the monitor flickered to life. “Go to the center of the room.”

He complied, continuing to take in the room. Just as he reached his destination, though, a pole popped up out of the ground, with a soft block stuck on the top of it, a little ways in front of him. It startled him, but the thing was inert. He poked it.

“Ok, now freeze it.”

These were the first words that he genuinely couldn’t comprehend. He did know “freeze”. Cold, ice, things like that. But the way the sentence was posed, it seemed like “freeze” was meant to be an action. An action meant for him to do. But it didn’t feel like something he knew how to act on. Why?

“Hmph, these things really should know how to do what they’re told. Invoking it takes so much more work.”

He looked over at the Roach, studying him as the Roach pushed more buttons. With the presses, a thick but transparent screen came out of the floor between him and the Roach, with small holes that still allowed sound to travel through. 

Then, the pole and it’s soft thing went back into the ground, and something wandered out of one of the strange openings in the distance. 

It… was another bug. Not a Roach, though. Darker brown than a Roach, thinner too. Looking at it… called for something in him. But there was nothing to call out to.

The bug rushed at him, with a dull yet frenzied expression. It made him step back, but nothing more. The bug reached him quickly, and gave him a smack. Now this was surprising, unexpected out of this… bug.

Said bug continued to act violently. He did his best to hold the bug off, but didn’t act in kind. Some faint notion prevented that. The room got colder, though, he could tell. 

“Interesting,” the Roach spoke up, “so it’s in you somewhere.”

He barely heard the words. He finally thought of something to try against this bug. He firmly grabbed the bug’s shoulders, turned him around, and gave him a push. The bug, confused, fumbled forward.

“You’re a smart one too.”

He could finally regard the Roach again. He wanted to answer, to say something, to ask at least one of the several questions that managed to form from some veiled space in his mind. But he couldn't piece together how. Yet another question. Doing what the Roach was doing, using words, wasn’t foreign. At least, not nearly as foreign as “freezing” seemed. 

But at that moment, all he could do was stare back, so he did.

The Roach avoided his stare and turned back to his computer. “It seems like I’ll just have to show him the way it is around here.”

At that, another creature came out of an opening, higher up. This time, it didn’t do anything to his mind. It was a really strange creature, floating there instead of residing on the ground with everyone else. 

But after a moment of floating, it quickly descended, and it headed straight for that bug. They collided, which sent a jolt through him. 

The bug fell, but it quickly stumbled to its feet. It rushed after the creature too, fighting at it in the same way it fought at him earlier. The creature managed to distance itself, and then, from the ground, it released a strange purple substance, which it hurled at the bug. The bug was drenched, staggered back, and finally fell to the floor.

A feeling descended upon him. It felt bad, but it was deeper than just that. He felt like, because he let that happen, he had let her down.

Her? There was something there, clearly, but his mind didn’t give him anything more.

This was the last question he was willing to have no answer for. He was determined to get a closer look at the fallen bug. He demanded to find something to answer the questions that were burning their way through the constant, baffling mystery of the blankness that kept his mind so obscure. 

He walked over to it, completely disregarding the other beings that were watching him. 

He knelt down next to it. His mind was ringing. It practically brought tears to his eyes.

Elizant. He finally got hold of it. That was the word. But what did it mean? He knew it was what he was looking for, but he still knew nothing else.

Then came another thought. Maybe if he tried this, more would come together.

“Elizant,” he murmured, solemnity draping over his voice.

“Ugh! I hate it when they start saying things,” the Roach jeered. It shook him from his thoughts, enough to back off from the… ant. 

His attention snapped back to the rest of the room. The strange creature was hovering again, and staring him down too. He backed up, nervous. This was the cue the creature wanted. It careened towards him. 

He flinched, closed his eyes, and put up his arm, with the will to keep himself from facing the same fate as the ant next to him. 

And that will was able to extend, reach out, with something. Something potent… and cold.

In an instant, there was a snapping sound.

“Hmph, well at least we got our intended result.” 

With that, he opened his eyes again. Then they widened with awe.

The creature was frozen solid.

He had done that. But not just that, he had done that on instinct. It was natural, really. Natural, just like the questions and concepts that kept flowing through him. They, too, happened all on their own. But this… this came from a different place. It bypassed his mind altogether, and had no foundation. This was new. The other things… somehow, they were not.

But how could anything not have been new? He only knew the last twenty minutes, didn’t he? There was nothing before then that he had any true concept of. But all of these thoughts, they were not born in just twenty minutes. That just didn’t add up.

There was a before. A before that was being hidden. A before that was fighting to make itself known regardless.

While he was navigating his thoughts, the Roach was pressing buttons at his computer, his attention seemingly no longer on him. 

But his attention returned to the Roach, at this point. The Roach could communicate, after all. Something about him seemed… off, but he didn’t really have anything to base that on. All he knew, is that if he posed the right questions, he should get answers. And he just figured out how to form words.

He walked up to the glass sheet, his eyes fixed on the Roach. The Roach pressed his last few buttons, turned, and gave a slight jump and a scowl with him so close. “What do you want?” 

To the Roach, that question was rhetorical, just something to amuse himself against having been startled.

To him, it was a clear invitation.

“Um… What was… before?” It was the priority, out of all his questions.

The Roach grimaced. “You’re really speaking in Bugnish right now, after everything that was done, huh? Even the other one couldn't manage that.”

He was confused by the response. Though that word “Bugnish” somehow helped him figure it out. He needed different sounds to speak to him. Those sounds he just said didn’t match the ones he’d been understanding all day. How could that have been? And why?

Since he had been hearing them, it didn’t take him long to find these other sounds. It took some time to put them in his own mouth, though. But once he was ready, his tone was definitive.

“What was before?”

Now the Roach almost flew back. It was as if he’d seen a ghost. “You know our language…? Sure, subjects speak in a way that’s close to our dialect, but that... You really spoke Roach! No wonder you’re so smart, you didn’t need to acclimate to our language at all!”

He was confused again, but mainly because the Roach seemed to be speaking about him rather than to him. As lost as he was in all this, he knew that wasn’t the proper response to an intelligible question. So he tried again.

“Um... what was before?”

This got a booming slam of a fist from the Roach. That fist slammed on a button which lowered the barrier between them. With that, the Roach whirled around and trudged up to confront him. “There was no before! Not for you!”

He shrank back, the sudden outburst truly unexpected. He could feel the room get colder again, but somehow he held back. He didn’t want to let that out on him, not yet.

“Come with me,” the roach demanded, storming on ahead of him. “Something has to be done about this. Moths always end up this way, in one form or another. We have to figure out how to finally bypass it.”

He froze. Not literally, but it felt just like that. 

That word… moth. That word belonged to him. It belonged to his before.

“...Muse.”

A jolt suddenly consumed him. Whatever was keeping his mind blank and the thoughts of this before vague, with that word, that name, it whithered away. All kinds of things rushed at him with an overpowering torrent. The warmth of the sun, the fields of Bugaria, the Queen he served, the family he had, the woman he loved, even a name of his own… Leif. 

But it wasn’t just all that. His mind even included, in its deluge, the reason why he was here. The spider, the Roaches carrying him off, the scouting mission, and all the people he put in danger by needing to be rescued from that spider’s web. Was that ant…?

The Roach turned back to him. He expected him to follow in the same way he did when they left the room with the metal table. This time that wasn’t happening. Instead, that moth was gripping its head, immobilized by whatever he was experiencing. 

The Roach knew this was bad. He reached out a hand to grab him.

Not having the room to think, instinct took over. 

The Roach was frozen.

“Ah…!” Leif reacted. He truly didn’t mean for that, despite what these thoughts were compelling him to do next. That was still… new. How could something in him still not have a place, despite the seemingly endless information his mind now held…?

But Leif took that as a chance to do what all this information was insisting that he do. And that was to escape.

He ran out of the room, and quickly took in his surroundings. The water that filled the room was running, slightly from the right. If water was coming in that way, it must’ve lead to a way out. So he ran to the right.

Roaches started taking notice, and began dropping what they were doing. Just running out of there was surely not the best strategy, but the panic didn’t let him think that far ahead. All he could really fathom now was that he had to run.

“After him! Seize that moth!” It was the same voice as the Roach from before. A small part of him was relieved that he wasn’t frozen forever, but all he really cared about was his plan being thwarted.

He turned his head, and saw a pack of Roaches after him.

But he managed to reached a door, all the way to the right of the place. He shoved it open, and then stopped in dismay. There was a huge pool of water in front of him. A bridge, to the right, had been raised, likely by a Roach that knew what Leif was trying to do. He was cornered.

The Roaches reached him now, and had him captured in no time. Leif struggled against them some, but there wasn’t much point in that.  
Back into this place he knew he didn’t belong, he went.

The Roaches that had seized him threw him into a room. Oddly enough, the only Roach that stayed behind was the one who had been with him before. Leif eyed the Roach, wondering what he was going to do or say next, now that everything was so different from just minutes ago.

“You had quite a panic, didn’t you?” His tone was unsettlingly soft.

“What, wouldn’t you?” Leif demanded. He knew what was going on now. He intended to make his words like spears.

“Those thoughts,” the Roach continued, indifferent to Leif’s words, “they’re painful, aren’t they?”

This was a perplexing question, and he didn’t know how to give a quick answer. Sure, it was all hard to take, but why should that matter? 

Regardless, he certainly didn’t want to tip his hand to how much knowledge he’d truly regained. But did trying to escape already do that?

“Listen.” The Roach took his silence as an answer. “You aren’t what you think you are. You are destined to become something great, something beyond the gods, even. But these thoughts, these things aren’t you. They aren’t real.”

“Aren’t real?!” Leif couldn’t contain his outrage. “You can’t tell us - “ 

His outrage promptly grinded to a halt. 

He referred to himself as “us”, just then. But that wasn't the word to use there, was it?

That, just like the freezing, felt new. And yet it was just as natural as all the actions and questions that lead up to his realization, to him finding out what must have been the truth. But what was this variable? This was yet another thing that didn’t line up with what he’d discovered. How could so much still be so unclear with all he’d come to know?  
Leif looked up from his thoughts to find the Roach with a smirk that held a strange understanding. 

“You don’t know what you are. These thoughts tell you things, but they’re not worth listening to. Really, you should just ignore them.”

“Ignore them?!” The Roach’s words drew his outrage back out of his questioning. “We’re not about to ignore the fact that we were dragged here, against our will, and contained in some sort of lab! You did something to us, didn’t you? Why can we freeze things now? Are we some sort of experiment to you?!”

“Shh now, you’re speaking nonsense.” The Roach was practically babying him now.

“Will it be nonsense when Queen Elizant sends more forces to look for us?” He shouted. Perhaps this was saying too much, but indignation got the better of him. “We were very close to her, and if you know anything about the founding of Bugaria, you know that Elizant leaves no bug behind!”

“You don’t know if what you speak of is the real truth. Somehow, you know that.”

The Roach gave him a piercing look, one that forced his words through Leif. It brought on a twinge that stopped Leif from finding more words to point back at him. Too many things were still weird, too many things still didn’t add up, and he knew that. So Leif raised an eye at him, if nothing else, putting up a front of confidence.  
The Roach saw through him, and took it as a victory. “In time, you’ll understand what you are, and what you’re here for. But for now, you just need to relax, and follow our orders.”

“We are not a willing subject.” This, at least, was the case no matter what. “We will defend ourselves against you forcing us to do anything. And you know well enough that we’re able to do that, thanks to you. Would you like to be frozen again? Maybe we can freeze everyone here. What you’re doing seems to warrant that.”

The Roach’s sense of victory vanished. “You really don’t get it. Fine, I didn’t expect this to be so easy. It’s time to go further.”

The Roach walked over to a computer at the front wall of this room. As he did so, Leif began to realize that this room wasn’t just a room after all. There was a metal table there… it was the same room he woke up in. 

He began to feel panicked again. This room is clearly where… something happened. Whatever that was, the thought of it alone made him sick. And that Roach was planning something else in this very room.

He spoke into a microphone on the computer. “I need reinforcements.”

Leif quickly went over what he could do. He knew he could freeze one bug, though he still didn’t really know how to activate it. But three? Five? A whole lab? Could he really manage that?

The Roach suddenly stopped what he was doing at the computer, and rushed up to him, forcing Leif to step back. “What I’m about to do next is only in your best interest.”

The Roach forced another step forward, and Leif’s back bumped into a metal object. He turned slightly, to see a strange machine. It seemed to have a section that could fit a bug.

Leif turned back to him, panic reaching new heights. “What do you intend to do to us?”

The Roach said nothing. He just reached out his hands, to shove him in whatever machine was behind him.

Out stretched Leif’s own. The space in front of him got cold, once more. 

But this time, the Roach didn’t freeze. Leif gave a harrowed look at his hands. Of course the ability doesn’t work after he threatens to freeze the whole lab.

The Roach shoved him in, and clamps sealed around Leif’s arms and legs. Leif grimaced, struggling on reflex despite knowing there was no point. 

Two reinforcements swerved into the room, but they just looked around, perplexed, when all seemed well.

“It’s fine, I got him in myself. His magic didn’t manifest like it did before. Perhaps that kink will need to be worked out later.”

This snapped him out of his panic enough to stop his useless squirms. 

Magic? So that’s what this ability was? It seemed so obvious, when the Roach stated it like that, but it was certainly not an easy conclusion to come to. It’s been said that less than ten known sorcerers have ever lived, and he wasn’t even sure if he believed that they really were real. 

And yet here he was. He was imbued with magic? He was a sorcerer now? And for what purpose?

“Would you two like to watch? This machine was constructed after the first Zommoth prototype. Now that we have another one, and he’s behaving similarly, we have a reason to test it out. It could very well be a breakthrough, one that’ll be quite useful to us.”

Zommoth prototype. Those words sent chills down his spine. They made it abundantly clear that he really was being treated as a laboratory experiment, rather than an actual person. What he was about to endure, there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t be painful. Perhaps even deadly.

The reinforcements simply nodded, coldly willing to watch another bug’s suffering. 

“Witness this, a machine that’ll eradicate those unwanted thoughts in our subjects.” His hand reached for a switch. 

Before Leif had a chance to even shout in protest, Lief’s body was being filled with an unbearably powerful energy. A shriek was forced out of him by the energy ricochetting throughout him. His ability to think was reduced to just a thread, threatening to snap at any moment. 

But he knew what they were trying to do. He wrapped this last thread of consciousness completely around all the thoughts he'd finally won back; on the sunlight, on Bugaria, on all his loved ones. He held them in a grip as firm as the grip that raw energy had on his entire being.

Finally, the machine stopped. Leif fell limp in it’s hold on him, his breath heavy. After taking a moment to recover, and another to readjust his scrambled vision to sight, he looked up at the Roaches. They looked back, as though the machine was only on for a few seconds.

“That should do it.” The Roach who pushed the button said. “It’s a reset, of sorts.” One of the others nodded sagely, and the second took out a notepad. 

Leif was ready to scowl at them, but he stopped himself. He needed to think strategically. After all, as painful as that was, he persevered, and nothing had changed. Should he play dumb, let them think he was "fixed"? Would that work out better for him, for his plan to escape?

The Roach who flipped the switch threw himself in front of Leif, strange smirk in tow. 

“What do you think of your little queen now, huh? Do you care that we’re stealing her subjects? That we’re using them?”

Leif's plan evaporated. 

A look of rage took over Leif’s face. Normally he was better at hiding his emotions, but the stress of it all, how disgusting this place was, and the fact that this Roach was willing to _flaunt_ it just to get a rise out of him, gave him no choice.

The Roach stepped back, almost as if Leif's look had actually frightened him. "You still have these thoughts? No… that's not right." He backed up to the others. "The process was heavily researched. It's worked on other subjects."

"Might it just need to go longer?" One of the reinforcements asked.

"No, it lasts a set duration. Any longer and the body could be compromised."

"Well, what about more power? Would that do the same?" Another one inquired.

"Hm… maybe moths do just need a higher setting. Their bodies do handle energy very well… But, as annoying as this moth has proven to be,” he and Leif traded barbed glances, “it is true that we don’t want to risk losing it.”

“Is it worth the risk?” 

The main Roach was contemplative for a moment. Leif silently pleaded that he’d decide against it, but he readied himself in whatever way he could fathom to, in the meantime, for another round. 

Once the main Roach’s expression finally took on a sadistic smirk, Leif’s hopes fell through his stomach. 

“Ah, what’s the chance of a loss in science? If we lose this one, we’ll simply have to get another one.”

Leif clenched his jaw, trying his hardest to still his reflexive shivering as the Roach turned a dial that surely dictated the machine’s potency. All he could do now was make himself ready for this, but he barely had a moment to figure out how.

“Hey,” the Roach making his voice soft again, sounding more like a whisper of death than anything, “make this easier for me and just let your thoughts go, alright?”

He flipped the switch again.

Leif’s body tensed up all at once, filled with what may as well have been a lightning strike. The amount more that the energy was completely caught him off guard, and for a moment he was just blank, solely and entirely enveloped in the power and the sheer pain of it. 

At this point, all that was left was instinct. Something in him, somehow, refused to be destroyed like this. He fought through the electric force, tooth and claw, for what these Roaches were trying to take from him. He ripped all of his thoughts, pleasant, painful or otherwise, back from his fading mind, and burrowed himself into them as a shelter against all the horrors that he was suddenly experiencing from all angles. 

This made it abundantly clear to him that the Roaches, in saying his precious thoughts weren’t real, were just trying to reduce him to the level of an object, just trying to take his identity away with lies. 

He refused to let his thoughts, no, his memories go.

And that refusal kept the raw power away from his precious moments, and all the things that made him a real, living bug. All the things that made him Leif.

Finally, the machine let him go. Leif was released from the power’s grip once again. 

This time, however, in between his strained breaths, strange laughter bubbled up from in him. It was unexplainable, but it just felt right. Laughter took his breaths whenever he could catch them, until the sound echoed through the room.

“Uh, is that supposed to happen?” One Roach asked. The main Roach just stared, utterly disturbed.

Leif, finally regaining his composure, explained himself. “Hahah... no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, we will never allow you to take our memories away!”

The main Roach whirled around, and slammed his hands on the control panel in front of him. It was a while before he spoke. 

“How ridiculous… it’s even calling them memories now. It must have a hold around the mental faculties, in such a way that it’s created an impenetrable defense. Why would it do that…?”

“Well, it’s not like we can’t work around this. It might be more difficult, but it doesn’t render the prototype completely useless. There’s still a lot of research that needs to be done.”

The main Roach’s weary glare showed how poorly he was taking the defeat. Did the notion of Leif retaining any shred of sentience really disturb this Roach so much? 

But his expression hardened, as if he got an idea.

“I hate to try it, but there’s still something that might work. It might not stop him from having these thoughts, but it may at least get him to realize that they’re useless. We’ll allow him to meet the other one.”

The others seemed shocked. “Yeah? You think the fact that they’re from the same strain will matter? They are both moths, would that not complicate things?”

“Well, the other one has become quite well behaved. And if anything would convince this prototype to behave, it would be the other one.”

Leif was surprised to find himself so fascinated by this exchange. Another moth? He was going to be able to see someone else who was in his predicament? But what did “well behaved” mean? And “same strain”?

All the Roaches wordlessly came over to him and got the machine to release its hold on his limbs. He practically fell out of it, dizzy enough that he almost fell altogether. The Roaches, surprisingly, gave him a moment to regain himself. 

“Someone else show this prototype where to go, please. I need to record what happened here,” the main Roach groaned.

“Follow me.” One of the others said. Leif nodded faintly. Once he could see that Leif was able to walk again, they were on their way.


	3. The Other One

The place Leif was being led was very far back in the lab. The main room and it's water was far behind them, and the hall was getting darker as they went, as if the Roaches didn’t want to use much power on this section. 

They passed a lot of rooms, some of which had barred entryways instead of doors. Leif looked into these bars, and to his dismay, saw other bugs contained here. They were bees, beetles and ants, mostly. They all looked oddly distant, wandering around their cells or just sitting there.

The harrowing thought that Leif could have become like these bugs if the machine had worked, or that this was what he was like when he didn't have his memories, forced him to stop looking at these other bugs.

They continued in for a long time, and Leif assumed that the other moth was in the cell furthest back. As they walked, he wondered if "well behaved" truly meant inert and unthinking, like all the other subjects were. 

But he couldn't believe that, somehow. Maybe it was just a delusional wish, but something in him could practically feel that this moth was going to be different. That they were just like him, a sentient being trapped in a place where they didn't belong.

Finally, they reached the end of the hall, and the Roach stopped in front of him, pausing to remember the code to plug in on a panel that would open the cell. After only a moment, Leif couldn't help but step around the Roach.

When he finally saw the moth, he stopped short. They looked up at him, too, from the bench they sat on. The moment their eyes locked, a feeling of familiarity washed over him. There was something he knew about this moth. An instant recognition of a connection was all he could parse as to why this familiarity was there.

But… this was new, too. Just like the ice magic, just like the “we” that found its way into his speech, this didn’t have a clear place in his mind like all his memories did. And yet, if this feeling really was familiarity, how could it not have come from a "before" as well?

But he didn't remember this moth. All that there was was a recognition. He could find no context in his mind to match it.

“Ahem.” Both of them were jolted out of their eye contact. The Roach had opened the bars, and looked as if he'd been waiting for a while. Neither of them had even noticed. 

He didn’t like the idea of being contained in a cell very much, but his intrigue overshadowed that. Regardless, he couldn't have had a choice in this anyway. 

And so, he went inside. The Roach got the bars to close once more and left without a word.

Leif, without hesitation, was drawn to the bench and quickly sat next to the moth. They looked at each other again, and another wave of mesmerizing familiarity caught them, simply holding their gaze there for another moment.

“Mjaj? (Hello?)” The moth finally spoke up.

“Mjaj. (Hello.)” Leif answered, as if on reflex.

This moth was female, based on her voice. He was just realizing that he didn’t even piece this together right away. And it wasn’t as if it was unclear, either. He should have been able to tell just from looking at her. But for some reason, the... familiarity of this moth distracted him from that. And yet… if she was familiar, how could he have not known what gender she was?

“Najd ajnksf tur? Sejior maklr. (How are you? You seem tired.)” She asked, eyes wide.

He blinked. Yes, he was tired. He had reason to be, with all that had happened so far. And yet, he had forgotten about how tired he was until she brought it up.

“Rik… Na tur? Ryokij, wuski? (Yes… but what about you? You’ve been lonely, no?)”

She paused a moment. “Rik… Ahwienk, osdjv bdkarf. (Yeah… We didn’t really notice, until you came.)”

“Mebsrgr nskle? Mebsrgr nsvjkd? (What’s happened to you so far? What have you had to endure?)”

“A… nwkjer ajnk, aiseaith. Sdfjkln nwrek, na sjoidf wajsdfke. (Uh… a lot, we guess. We know it’s all for the best, but sometimes it’s hard.)”

This statement got him to pause. And him pausing got him to finally realize what he’d been doing this whole conversation. He was so focused on her that he didn’t even notice he’d been speaking an entirely new language this whole time. 

A new language? He knew, based on the implications of his memories, that he was a bit of a nerd, but had he really learned three whole languages? What bug has time to learn three languages? Yet another thing that was new, but that had to come from some sort of past… this was all getting impossible to think with.

"Tur mjaer? (Are you alright?)” She leaned towards him with gentle concern. 

Now she was bringing him back out of his thoughts instead of inviting him into them.

“Aa… rik. Kenserne. (Ah… yes. Sorry.)” He summoned what she said back to mind, so she wouldn't have to repeat such a sincere statement. “Snseruh wajsdfke. Suian nwkrn tar ejor ndfkg, jwei suel qnajkws. Na… miternen ahsidnf. Mebsrgr naiwerh? (We bet it’s been hard. We’ve only been here for a day, and we already can’t think. But… you said it’s for the best. What do you mean by that?)”

She shifted, but formed a small smile before answering. “Pwel, awhie Roache, qwhierh seironf iwoasn ehrith. Joie woeihr pserke ehrith. Ejor ndfkg, joie woeihrjs nwerkj. Roache sdfjkln vjnkxc hwioendf. Komerkernen joie proksdnj ahsiodnk. (Well, these Roaches, they’re trying to find true immortality. And we are the secret to that. One day, we’ll have to protect this world. The Roaches know that something bad is going to happen. They made us to try and solve that.)”

So that was the story. That was what she was being made to believe for all this. Or, what the Roaches truly believed themselves. 

As much as he wanted to say that that concept was all simply nonsense, he could understand it some. Bugaria was a unique place, out of all that was out there. Beyond its reach, a whole lot was very unsafe. It would drive bugs to do a lot of things.

But, true immortality? The Roaches were always connected to the legend of the Everlasting Sapling. Did they not already know something about that?

While Leif was thinking, the other moth suddenly smiled brightly. It gave off a warmth that got Leif's attention all by itself.

“Coentherei neirtne sjaika. Suel? (We’d like to see your magic. Can we?)”

“A, ssisa? (Oh, really?)" It was an unexpected question, but he found that it was quite a pleasant surprise. He smiled too. "Rik, suel. (Yes, you can.)”

Leif assumed he wouldn't know what to do to bring it forth, but a mysterious instinct asserted itself as soon as he raised a hand. At its tip, a small orb of frozen magic formed, off which ice crystals glittered and slowly fell. He was just as awestruck by it as she was, their eyes widening to take in the sparkling light. It was truly quite beautiful.

“Suel neirtne turns? (Can we see yours?)” He knew he hardly had to ask, but the question tumbled out of him anyway.

She raised her hand, near his, and formed an orb as well. It was fuchsia, colored in a way that demanded attention. It held bubbles, that shifted and glowed in interesting patterns. Equally beautiful, in a different way.

The two of them held their orbs of magic, side by side, for a while. They were captivated by the display, and not just because of the look of it. It was because of the way it felt.

They could both sense each others’ magic and the way it reflected their selves. Their magical frequencies harmonized, forming a blanket of comfort out of their very beings.

Like this, both of them felt like their troubles could melt away.

They both let their magic dissipate at the same time.

“Dirasco. Arn kiderjerk. (Thanks. That was nice.)” She sighed, her muscles noticeably looser than before.

“Rik… Iehrt seironf ulstha kiderjerk col djiofv. (Yeah… It’s nice to find something good in this place.)” Leif answered, leaning back with a real sense of relief.

For a moment there was silence. Leif was contemplating what he should do. It was clear that “well behaved”, to the Roaches, meant “amnesiac”. And he could tell that she held onto the story of why she had to stay that way like it was her lifeline. 

Part of him really wanted to try and convince her that she did have a past, beyond this place. But part of him... just didn’t want to hurt her.

But she turned to him, as if she knew something was on his mind. And eventually, he couldn't hold it back anymore. He had to quell his curiosity. 

“Sdfjkln snjkd reaj? Reaj col djiofv? (Do you know anything about what you were before? Before you were in this lab?)”

She paused, looking away to think. A bit of that tension seemed to return to her. But she turned back to him, and ultimately didn’t hesitate to answer. 

“Aiseaith… skel ssisa sdfjkln uarn reaj. Roache miternn, ulsciuel, woejr secoastrkan, oerkjtn jer. Komerkere sjgrnk tar ui. Ssisa, uiekr owjenran. Suar qnajkws “reaj” ssisarn arssisa, eans scheren. Ui… suian skelhwe. (We guess… we don’t really know if there actually was a before. The Roaches told us that, sometimes, when someone goes through a lot of stress, they’ll invent things. Create a reason for it all. And really, everything’s been confusing enough on its own. Even if our thoughts on what “before” could have been have truth, some things have been different from that. It all… just never adds up.)”

Her words left him a bit stunned. Part of him felt really bad for her, that these Roaches were telling her that her memories were fabrications, to justify their horrors and hide the truth. 

And yet, he could really see where she was coming from. He had been being swarmed with inconsistencies since he woke up. So many things were inexplicably second nature to him now, and they appeared in ways so jarring that he faintly wondered if he really had any idea of what was going on at all.

“Pwel, (Well,)” he figured asking this would be harmless enough, “mebsrgr arne qnajkws reaj, sfhnd ssisa uoa ksel? Djnerjbue.” (what were your thoughts on before, whether they’re real or not? We're curious.)”

She took a while to answer. Her eyes were distant, as if she was trying to find something that she’d tossed aside a long time ago. “Arne… deilli, kaineri tar jerne. Ciue collei uiciuel, col reaj. Arne hwigohnfdk, wnerjkse, wleorfo col snerne… Na, pwel, shernk secoa ehrihntn. (They’re of… two people who care for us. Who were with us all the time, in the before. They’re of grass, and long days in the sun… Though, well, they’re never that clear.)”

He was glad to hear that she could still find her memories, at least, even if just stating them out in the open seemed to make her nervous. Were they memories of her parents?

How young was she?

But he decided that bringing her memories back to her attention was enough, certainly for now, at least. He was becoming too weary for all this thinking.

She came close to him, and put her head on his shoulder. "Maklr kues. (We're tired too.)"

He leaned his head on hers. It was natural. 

“Rik, enserk ssisuejr kiderjerk. (Yes, sleep would be nice.)”

He let out a breath, and just let himself relax. For the first time since he woke up that day, he felt he could truly just be at ease. Like this, he didn’t need to ask any questions, or find any answers. For a little while, he could just be here.

“Mjaj, suel akcerwe suitha? (Hey, can we ask you one more thing?)”

“Rik, wnernjk. (Yeah, it’s not a problem.”)

“Aiseaith sco “sibling”? Soffernei Roache miternn doej. Aiseaith neshirn woejc hseuirhnf. Aiseaith hernfwe jioe? (What do you think of the word “sibling”? We heard a Roach use it once. We think it has something to do with a deep connection. Do you think that fits us?”)

“...Rik. Aiseaith ssisa. (Yes. We think it does.)”

Leif had no siblings. This moth didn’t seem to either.

But for now, it felt right. And for now, he didn’t need to ask any questions, or find any answers.

It only took him a few moments to fall asleep.

He was awakened by the sound of a voice. It was a particular voice, one that reminded him of cruelty and powerful energy. 

He jolted up, and his sibling's head almost fell off of his shoulder. "Wake up now." He stared Leif down. "You, come with me."

Leif practically growled under his breath. Being startled awake, and having to be dragged away back into the lab from the safe haven his newfound sibling created made him want to freeze the Roach all on its own. 

But he was starting to get used to the concept of not having a choice in things, and if he was going to make a scene with his magic, he had to wait until he had a better concept of everything. Or at least, until he was closer to the exit of the lab.

"Icjsbe wbjerj? (Does this guy have a name or anything?)" Leif asked.

She chuckled. "Ishwber, suian hejrnf "Mrgrgr". Ehsj alleles miternn joies wbjerj. (Really, we just call him "Grump". It's not like he'd ever tell one of us his name.)"

Leif formed a sinister smile. "Seccjar. (Perfect.)" And with that, Leif left with Grump.

They walked in silence until they were back in that room where Leif had regained his memories. Grump rushed up to the computer, put up his protective barrier, and caused a few of those practice dummy polls to appear.

"Practice using your magic." Grump said, as a simple command.

"You're not going to try and find out how many memories we've lost from being introduced to the other Zommoth prototype?" Leif inquired, though he got started with what he was asked to do. He was curious about his magic himself.

"Funny," Grumps tone was flat, "you're speaking as if you know everything there is to know about your situation."

Leif summoned an orb of icy magic in the way that he did with his sibling. Since meeting her, that much was easy to access. 

"Fair enough, we must say that being experimented on allows for some uncertainty. But this whole "well behaved" thing seems an awful lot like a cover-up for the fact that you kidnapped us. We can see why that would be a detail you wouldn't want us to know."

"You didn't get kidnapped." Grump replied, in a way so matter-of-fact that Leif wondered if he had heard that right.

"...You can lie all you want, that isn't going to make my ‘thoughts’ disappear." Leif walked up close to one of the dummies with his orb of ice. He thrust it forward, which caused it to scatter in front of him. With that, the dummy was frozen. That didn't seem like something that could fail, Leif surmised. It'd be useful if a target of his was really in his face.

"Maybe they can't be made to disappear. At least, not with you being so stubborn. But they shouldn't be regarded."

"So that you can have your way with us?" Leif stepped back from the frozen dummy with another idea.

"Look, you simply don't have the full picture. And you thinking that you do causes you to do things, like trying to run away, which is quite an unnecessary inconvenience. Otherwise, I’m really not all that invested in this, save for the sake of potential scientific advancement.”

Leif, becoming annoyed with the discussion, was more forceful with his next experimental move than he intended to be. His idea was to throw his orb across the room at one of the dummies, but instead he ended up hurling it into the floor. 

But, to his astonishment, the orb didn’t disappear when he did so. And, with his astonishment shifting it's position, he found he could still influence it, mentally, as a magical force that slid under the ground. His instinct helped him to lead it under one of the dummies, and with a decisive swing of his arm, a spear of ice ripped out from the floor. It knocked the thin, flexible poll out of its post.

“Well, at least this is good stress relief.” Leif muttered, as Grump let out a “hm” of intrigue and started typing.

“Alright, why don’t you tell me what the full picture is, then?” Leif asked plainly. He figured he had an idea of what was coming next, but he might as well start collecting information instead of keeping up the sarcastic banter.

Grump didn’t have anything to say for a while, however. He kept typing, but Leif had a feeling that it was just a front for him to figure out what he should come up with. 

But, eventually, he did speak up. “You are, because of what we’ve done to you, an entity that could make the difference between life or death for all of bugkind. You’re more than what you know, and that fact is why you’re here, and why you should work with us.”

So here was that rhetoric that his sibling was telling him. “What exactly makes us this important?” Leif asked. He still wasn’t convinced this whole thing wasn’t just lies, propaganda that just sounded important enough to make someone willing to discard their identity, but he needed to hear the scope of it.

“Magic, for starters. Subjects like you are the key to us learning more about it. Which is why you should be using it, right now.”

Leif hadn’t realized that he took that much attention off of his magic practice. He took a moment to focus on it again, summoning another orb and another idea before asking another question. “Don’t Roaches use magic?” He figured he knew the answer to the question already, both because of evidence from the lab and what he learned of Roaches from Elizant’s quest for the Sapling, but he wanted to be sure.

Grump gave a short, hollow laugh. “Have you seen any of us use magic? If I could use magic, I would’ve given you what for when you froze me back there. No, we can’t use magic, not like you. We’ve learned how to incorporate it into all of our technology, but nothing beyond that.”

“Can’t you just do what you did to us to yourselves?” Leif tried throwing the orb of ice straight at a dummy instead of at the floor, but it wasn’t like a ball. It scattered almost instantly with the upwards force. So much for freezing things at a distance.

“It doesn’t work that way.” Grump said curtly.

“Fine, we could understand why someone who can use magic would be important,” he said, though he got a new idea for his magic mid sentence that made him pause for a moment, “but based on my useless thoughts, the Roaches are supposed to be connected to the Everlasting Sapling, right? You are all immortal, aren’t you? So what do you all have to gain from doing this? You talk as if you want to protect the whole world, but we find it hard to believe that bugs who would force other bugs into experiments against their will are really that altruistic.”

“Things aren’t that simple.” He said. Leif expected the statement to be loud and harsh, but it wasn’t like that. He almost said it solemnly. 

“That’s enough, this isn’t twenty questions.” And this next statement had him recovering his grumpy volume.

Luckily for Grump, Leif’s next idea involved a bit of focus. 

He formed another orb and threw it into the ground again. Once he guided it to the dummy, he swung his arm to raise the spear like before, but this time he tried to hold onto his control over it. He found out to his amazement that he could, but it didn’t seem like it would last for long. 

So he acted fast. With some intention and extra mental force behind it, he knew he could spread the ice out further. Gripped in the moment, he spread his wings to mimick the concept of spreading ice. And with that, the icy spear enveloped the dummy, leaving it in a frozen block.

“Wow.” Leif let out, and Grump softly agreed with a similar interjection, followed by more typing.

Leif had one more thing he wanted to try. And as much as he didn’t want to just accept Grump’s demand that he stop asking questions, he wasn’t sure of what to ask next. After all, he was wary of bringing up anything that he couldn’t have known without his sibling. He would have liked to find out more about if they were searching for true immortality through these experiments, but based on Grumps response to his prior questions, that probably would have been crossing a line. And, above all, he felt determined to keep her safe. It was surprising, really, considering he just met her.

So, with nothing else to ask, he threw his orb straight up. Immediately, before it had a chance to dissipate, he conceptualized the same spreading concept that he did with his previous technique. He couldn’t see the orb, as it was above him, and looking up would shatter his focus, but he could tell that the orb solidified into what he hoped was his desired shape. With that, he did his best to aim the chunk, and mentally hurled it down. It sped towards the ground, and Leif could tell it was going to miss the last remaining dummy, but only by a little. However, as soon as the chunk landed, it erupted in a cold mist, and the dummy became frozen anyway.

Leif felt quite satisfied. Even though nothing made sense, and this ice magic was forced into him without his concent, it was, admittedly, a cool thing to have.

As if on cue, Grump lowered his barrier and came out towards him. “That’ll do for now. There’s more than enough to analyze here. I’ll escort you back to the room with the other prototype.” 

He then muttered, a little more to himself than to Leif. “As much as being with her didn’t fix you, I guess I can see that it calmed you down. And regardless, you both need to be fed something.”

Leif followed him, with a surprising spring in his step. It was part because, as much as Grump wouldn’t have admitted it, this was likely Grump’s way of saying he did a pretty good job, part because all his questions didn’t ruin his chances of ever seeing his sibling again, and part because he was finally going to get to eat something. Though he realized enough to squelch that last one, as he could be sure that the food wasn’t going to be anything special, if not entirely inedible. 

But with that last thought came another thought. He was relatively excited at the notion of being put in a cell, with a relative stranger, to be given what could barely qualify as a meal. 

He couldn’t believe this is what things had come to. He thought about Muse, Elizant, his parents, even Zephyr, and other bugs he’d barely even met in Bugaria. He wondered how they were doing. If he knew anything about Muse, and he certainly knew he did, he knew she would not have taken him being missing from the spider’s web well at all. She would have searched every corner of the den. And of course, he was sure that this facility was thoroughly hidden, sealed beyond an unopenable passage, or even guarded by any number of beasts. So what would she have done when he wasn’t there to be found?

The thought of her being as upset as he imagined shook through him. 

He couldn’t help but feel like he was settling for this place, like he wasn’t trying hard enough to escape. 

But he stopped that train of thought, and analytically reminded himself that the Roaches didn’t treat him like a living being. If he pulled another stunt like he did when he got his memories, it could be enough to warrant his extermination right then and there. 

He began to even wonder what they would do if he did manage to escape. Would they let him go? Would they search for him? Did they already create a means to track his location, even? He had no way of knowing, not yet at least. And finding a way to get that information was going to take time, and patience.

These thoughts added external uncertainties onto his ever growing pile of uncertainties. He’d really have to be careful, and he’d really have to know everything there was to know, before he could even contemplate another escape.

But, if he knew nothing else, he decided that he was sure he’d escape one day. If he was completely certain of nothing else, not even of if these memories were really his memories, of if he was really anything more than a laboratory experiment, he was certain of this. 

He was going to find his way out of this horrible place, and back into the light of day.

The two Zommoth Prototypes sat on their bench, over a heaping bowl of dry, stale leaves. Once Leif was settled in with her, his troubled thoughts left him, and a hypothetical spring in his step returned. He detailed to her what he did with his magic, with wild adjectives and even hand gestures. It was gratifying to see her eyes widen with awe at every new description, and to hear her laugh with a pleasant sound of cheer at each joke.

“(Your magic sounds really nice, like a joy to use! Our magic is… much more violent.)” She became a bit more withdrawn, at that.

“(We bet it’s really impressive to witness.)” Leif said, hoping to peirce through her concern. He really did want to see it in action, now that he got to see his own.

“(Yes… ours can be satisfying to use, as well, like you said.)”

Leif was glad she appreciated his answer. He felt like he was encroaching on a sore spot, and wanted to change the subject. “(We have a question for you. You told us that the Roaches are looking for true immortality. How did you get Grump to tell you that?)”

She laughed a hearty laugh at that. “(How did we get Grump to tell us that? Oh no, that’s not it. You haven’t met other Roaches around here. He’s not the one who told us. No, the one who tells us about our purpose is much kinder. He’s a medic sort of Roach. I see him a lot, since he patches me up whenever I get hurt. Whenever we’re upset, when we wonder what it’s all for, he reminds us, and teaches us.)”

Leif found it equally funny that he didn’t realize that another Roach was the one to tell her details like these. But he was glad to discover that this meant she may have had more information than he thought.

“(So why do the Roaches need true immortality?)” He asked.

“(Well, he tells us that every bug in this world deserves immortality, what with how harsh the outside world is for our kind. And he told us that they used to have it, once, but it was taken away. They wanted to find out how to become immortal on their own, so they could share it with others.)”

This was stunningly important data. So they had immortality once, but don’t anymore? Did that mean something had happened to the Everlasting Sapling? Or that some parts of the legend weren’t fully accurate?

“(Interesting! So did this Roach ever tell you about the Everlasting Sapling?)”

She leaned in with a gleam in her eye. “(No, We’ve never heard about that. What is it?)”

Leif was a bit dismayed at that. A small part of him was hoping that he could count this towards his scouting mission, and bring the information to Elizant when he finally managed to escape. “(It’s a legend, from our before. A plant, that’s said to give anyone who eats even one of its leaves eternal life. We… knew someone who was looking for it. And from what they discovered, they believed that Roaches were connected with it.)”

“(Interesting! So the Roaches may have really been immortal?)” Leif was surprised to see her pose her statement that way. She seemed so much like she simply believed them before. “(We do wonder if the Roaches ever really did have this Sapling. They must not have it now, since they’re looking for immortality. But they must have had it once, that makes sense! How could one invent so much technology if they were always distracted by living?)”

Leif listened to her talk with intrigue. She really was smart, and she was really looking for answers, too. It might not have seemed like it at first, what with the complacency she seemed to have, but her excitement over this fairly minor detail, in the grand scheme of things, showed just how much she really wanted to understand her situation for herself.

And, seeing that was relieving. He could be confident that she did in fact want to know the truth. 

He intended to gather more information, and once he gathered enough to prove that there was a time before this lab, and that the outside world was better than the scraps of hope that she was being given down here, he knew that she’d be able to believe him, even if it would be hard on her. 

He really did want to get her out of here, too. He knew it would be even harder to get them both to escape, but he couldn’t even think of leaving her behind, now that he knew her. Knowing that she was harmed enough times to bond with the medical Roach here left a knot in his stomach. He wanted her to be safe, and he wanted to get her life back.

He wanted to tell her something, to voice all these thoughts, but he needed to ask her something first. “(Hey, what’s your name?)”

“(Oh, our name…?)” She fidgeted. “(You mean our name from before? We don’t know... We can’t say if we ever thought of it, really.)”

“(That’s alright, if you don’t know.)” Leif said, in as soothing of a tone as he could muster, though it made him sad, too, that she didn’t remember her own name, and that her even thinking about it seemed to make her uncomfortable. 

“(But is there anything you like to call yourself?)”

“(No… the Roaches call us different things. ‘Moth’ or ‘prototype’, things like that. And, well, we’ve never really had a reason to call ourselves anything.)”

“(Well, why not come up with something now. What do you think could fit you?)”

She paused, for a good long time, truly wanting to give this the thought it deserved. Finally, her face brightened up. “(...Kjdrira! I don’t know, it doesn’t mean anything, it just sort of came to me. I like the way it sounds!)”

Leif gave a big smile at that. Kjdrira… he thought that suited her perfectly.

She proceeded to giggle. It warmed Leif’s heart. Having a name, an identity… that was truly an important thing, that no living being should have to be stripped of.

He was about to say what he had intended to tell her, but she cut him off before he had a chance.

“(Do you have a name? We’ll give you a minute if you have to come up with one.)” She grabbed his arm, refreshingly energetic.

“(Heheh, no, we don’t need to think of one. Our name is Leif. It’s the name we had in our before.)”

“(Leif! What a nice name!)” Kjdrira exclaimed, pulling his arm to her.

A wave of relief washed through him. Leif hadn’t realized how much he’d missed being called by his own name. He’d been being treated like an object for so long that even his own name had a strange distance to him. He was grateful to Kjdrira’s excitement for closing that gap.

“(Thanks.)” He sighed. He then took his arm out of her grip, but only to hold her hands in his own. He looked straight into her eyes. 

“(Kjdrira, we promise, we will make it so you don’t have to get hurt, or wonder about the purpose behind your life, any longer. We’re going to help you get out of here.)”

With those words, her eyes widened, bright and hopeful. 

But she paused, after a moment, and her expression became somber again. 

“(Oh no, please don’t put that burden on yourself. Besides, we’re needed here. Both of us, as far as we understand... Even if we wanted to leave, would they even let us, knowing that?)”

Leif almost shrunk back, from hearing the same worries coming out of her that came out of him. But he kept a strong face. He wanted to stay determined in this, for as long as he could. “(Well, we’re siblings. Wherever we go, we intend to take you with us. So it is not a burden. We’ll do this for you.)”

Kjdrira gave him as strong of a smile as she could muster in her hesitancies. “(Thank you. We’d like to go where you go, wherever that may mean.)” 

It was as if she knew he wanted to escape, without him really even having to say so. And yes, maybe it was easy to read. If he could see whenever she got tense from talking about her concept of a past, she must have been able to see some forlorn look in his eye whenever he talked about his. 

But he was incredibly glad to hear that she was willing to come with him, despite all that she was told, and all that she didn’t remember. 

He couldn’t wait to bring her back into the sun.

“Alright, you two. You’re both coming with me.” It was Grump. They each had a startled jolt that time. But they turned to each other in surprise. Both of them? What could that mean.

They both, hesitantly, got off their bench and headed out.

They were taken to that same training room Leif was in earlier that day. Grump set up in his usual spot and prepped up some new dummies. “Now it’s time for you two to practice using magic together.”

They both stared at each other with an awed expression. They both never expected that this would happen, and yet they were just talking about it.

“(Let us see your magic first.)" Leif said, a glimmer in his eye. She didn't respond right away. "(We don't know how it works,)" he urged.

"(A-alright, just stand back.)"

She prepped her own orb, which instantly sent an aura that was quite relaxing to Leif through the room, though he saw a chill go through Grump out of the corner of his eye. Then, she split the orb into two, bigger ones that were less dense. With that, she hurled them at two different dummies. 

The effect was startling. The orbs cut straight through the soft blocks, leaving black char in their wake.

Before Leif had a chance to compliment, she formed another orb. She outstretched both of her hands, with the orb floating at the end. Then, after a deep breath, she fired a beam out of it. It stretched out to the far wall, and cut through the poles of three dummies as it passed.

Leif was absolutely amazed. His magic may have been cool, but here was a real force to be reckoned with. Kjdrira looked back at him nervously. She was stunned when she saw the awe in his expression “(Well, there you go. That about sums up what we can do.)”

“(Incredible!)” He exclaimed, turning to her and grabbing her hands to show he meant it. That forced a sheepish smile on her face.

Grump caused a few more dummies to pop out of the ground. "I said practice your magic together, not practice it next to each other."

"(He wants us to combine our magic?)" Her nervousness was fading with the question.

"(This seems to be so,)" he said, with a defiant smile. He knew that their power would be intense together. Now they could show Grump what kind of fire he was fueling.

“(Let's see how our orbs interact first.)” Kjdrira formed her orb before even finishing the statement. Leif made his too, and pushed them into each other. They watched as Leif’s ice crystals seemed to gravitate to Kjdrira’s bright bubbles, settling out once the crystals floated on top. 

They dispelled this, and Grump’s typing began as the two of them discussed what they could do with this information.

“(Our orb scatters, unless we throw it straight down,)" Leif explained, "(but if I scatter it right next to something, that thing will freeze on contact with the mist. Maybe, if your orb contains mine, things can be frozen at a distance.)”

They readied to try that. Kjrira formed her orb into one that could be thrown, and Leif tossed his inside. Kjrira then threw this into the middle of the group of dummies. Right before it hit the ground, the two of them both envisioned their orbs spreading out. 

Her orb burst, and then Leif’s ice scattered out of the explosion, creating a huge radius of fuschia and blue, almost like a firework had gone off in the middle of the room. All of the dummies were encased in glittering ice, and a cold, heavy wind blew through the room.

There was silence, as everyone present took this in. Then there were high fives and exclamations of praise coming out of the moths. But no typing ever started.

“(Let’s try something with your beam!)” Leif urged, despite the fact that all the dummies that were currently out were already frozen solid.

Kjdrira readied herself in the same way, except with a smile this time, as she did with her own beam, holding her orb out in front. Leif tossed his orb a bit ahead of hers, and started forming it into an icicle, with just the right timing before she made her magic fire. 

The beam was surrounded with a hail of icy spikes. It caused a straight, frozen path of ice to form along the floor, and created a crater of ice on the far wall, with a black, scorched hole seared in the middle.

The two of them were cheering, practically jumping for joy at this display. They were paying no attention to Grump, whispering off in his cage. “Such power… with all that they might even be able to…! I have to stop this.”

“That’s enough you two!” He announced, even more edge than usual forced into his voice. “We’re going to do something different now. You two are going to fight one another.”

“What?” Leif called out, startling Grump slightly, as he nearly forgot Leif could speak Roach with the two of them talking together in their language. “What purpose could that possibly serve?”

“One day, the two of you might be at odds. We need to know what that would result in.”

The two of them simply stood there, as if they were denying that these instructions were even given to them.

“(Y-you, um, can speak Roach?)” Kjdrira asked, as if to change the subject of the instructions themselves.

“(Yeah, something we got from our before. Why, can’t you?)”

“(We can understand it, but we can't speak it. Or, not well, at least.)”

“What are you waiting for?!” Grump cried.

They jumped. That tone implied Grump was ready to do something drastic. As much as Leif wanted to argue the point further, he knew they wouldn’t have much choice, in the end. 

“(...We just have to spar. Nothing more than that. Bugs do that plenty. If we’re gentle, it can’t be that bad,)” he said, trying to assure her. But even he was unsure. Bugs sparred plenty, but not with magic, let alone magic that could freeze or disintegrate things on contact.

“(A-alright, yeah. I just have to be gentle…)” 

She wandered over to the other side of the room, and the two of them faced each other. They both readied their own orbs. Then, with both of them having the same idea, they tossed them, simply as is, across the room. He felt some magic scatter across him, but it didn’t hurt. All it did was make him feel a little less... defensive. Perhaps scattering the orb at a distance wasn’t completely useless after all.

Then they were both at a loss. 

Leif was a bit more confident that he could do something without hurting her. He threw his orb at the ground, and slowly slid it near to where she was, but then, he hesitated. 

Somehow, this lapse in focus caused ice to form around his hand. He barely had a chance to raise even a lump of ice out of the ground, and had to shake the resultant ice cube off his fingers. The result of his attack just knocked Kjdrira off balance a little bit.

Kjdrira's next move managed to be even more reserved. She took her orb, barely changed its form, and tossed it lightly across the room. It hit the ground before even reaching

Leif, and rolled a short distance. It burst in front of him, causing a few sparks to land on his leg. They stung a little, but didn’t do anything otherwise.

“What is this?!" Grump sounded livid. "You two aren’t trying at all! Don’t think I don’t notice!”

“What do you expect?” Leif shouted back. “You see what we can do. If we tried, we’d seriously hurt each other!”

“Your purpose isn’t to care about each other, your purpose is to protect the world! And if one of you stood in the way of peace, and the other had to defend it, how would you know if you could if you don’t try?”

What a baffling explanation. And yet, this was the most sincere Leif had ever heard Grump be. What caused him to think the way he does?

But he couldn't think about that now. “We don’t care about your insane agendas! Clearly, the fact that we care about each other is more of a deterrent towards us fighting than having us fight is!”

“You don’t know that! You’re utterly blind! You don’t know what you are, and you don’t know what kinds of horrible things the future can hold!” With that, Grump turned to his computer. “If you two won’t fight each other on your own, I’ll just have to make you!”

Out of the back of the room, on Leif’s side, a large metal crane glowed blue, and spurred to life, reaching forward across the span of the room. The claw shifted its metallic talons, and suddenly flicked itself forward. Leif was tossed back by the blow.

“Leif!” Kjdrira cried out. She headed towards him, but bars came out of the ground, splitting the room in half. She made a pose as if about to summon an orb, but she stopped moving beyond that, hand shaking.

“Zommoth One. Attack him.” Grump said with an uncanny calm forced in his voice.

“N-no!” Kjrira cried out, weakly. “I… I can’t!”

"If you attack him, he won't have to get hurt anymore."

Whimpers that couldn't find words were all he got in response.

“Then that’s your loss.”

The crane started moving again. Leif worked at getting up as fast as he could, and he tried to collect his thoughts in the same way. But fresh injuries made it hard to get up, and his thoughts were having just as much difficulty.

On an emotional level, his entire being screamed to destroy the crane, or even slip an attack of ice under the protective screen to freeze Grump, or destroy the computer. But he knew he couldn’t do that without thinking first, of the bigger picture. If he did anything that was deemed bad enough, the Roaches wouldn’t hesitate to finish him off. Or worse, direct that rage to Kjdrira. He couldn’t think of a way to make this stop without risking that. 

And in came another strike from the crane. It slammed him against the bars that separated him from his sibling.

“(No! Leif! I’m sorry!)” She cried through the bars, “(I can’t fight you, I just can’t!)”

He couldn’t stand to hear the pain in her voice. And pain over not fighting him, no less!

“If something doesn’t change right now, he isn’t going to make it out of this, I can assure you that!”

The crane came towards him, wide open this time, brandishing its sharp claws. Leif could tell, Grump was ready to fulfill that notion of not hesitating to finish him off. 

He didn’t have time to figure out what to do any more. Panic rushed through him with full force, enough to pin him to the spot, motionless. His eyes were fixed on that claw.

And behind him, he could hear that Kjdrira had fallen into a heap, sobbing with total overwhelm. 

Before he could react, the claw was flying towards him to strike.

His body acted on its own. 

With a quick shift in his stance, a bubble of ice formed around him. 

The crane flung itself at him, clamping down, but it slipped off the shield and did nothing.

"What in the world?!" Grump screamed. 

He retracted the crane, and slammed it forward again. Still nothing. He even flipped a switch that turned the crane into a drill, and burrowed it into his shield. Nothing save for pushing him back a bit.

Grump screeched in frustration. "How do you always manage to thwart me?!" He turned to an intercomm. "I need reinforcements, now!"

Leif turned towards the sound of Kjdrira’s weeping. They were slowing and softening, however, as she looked up to see him safe.

"(How'd you do that?)" She asked softly.

“(I... don’t know.)” He called back. “(But it certainly worked.)”

She gave him a weary smile, past her tears and the bars. He gave her a strained one back.

He had to focus on keeping this barrier up. If he could get through whatever was about to come next, the danger would likely be averted for both of them.

Three Roaches barreled into the room. But they stopped short, unable to see any immediate danger to Grump. 

But Grump started shouting as if the danger was clear. "I need these two split up! Take this one back to her cell!" he said, pointing to Kjdrira. Two of the Roaches took her by each arm, and they started leaving the room. 

She threw her head over her shoulder. She still looked distraught, but her tears had dried. 

"(Stay safe, Leif…!)"

“(Will do. You stay safe too, Kjdrira!)”

They both hoped dearly that this wouldn't be the last time they'd see each other.

"What about this one?" The last reinforcement called out to him. Grump lowered the cage in the middle of the room and they came through, though he wouldn't lower the personal barrier for him and his computer.

Grump turned and leaned on the control pannel in front of him. "This one has simply caused me too much stress…" he said, all the edge worn out of his voice. "Take him to someone else who's researching magic. I'm done here."

"But you're the lead researcher on bio-magical constructs. There's no one else running this. You can't just give up the prototype!"

"I'm not! The first one knows its place, normally. But this one, this one's trouble…"

Leif peered over in wonder. He knew that he was sarcastic, and perhaps even a pain towards Grump, and he knew his defending himself foiled his plans, but this reaction seemed intense for just that. 

But he looked at Grump's demeanor. His slumped shoulders, his uncertain voice… this wasn't just annoyance. This was fear. Something about Leif, or maybe about him and Kjdrira, actually made this Roach afraid. 

He figured he couldn't really blame him, what with the display they just presented, and with how clear he’s made that he wants to fight back and escape. He was even frozen in Leif’s magic before.

"He’ll be useful to us at some point, that much is clear. But for now, someone else has to continue research on it."

"Well, who? There are some people who research magic on a more basic level, but in terms of handling subjects… you're the only one."

Grump furrowed a brow at all this back talk before revealing his explanation. "No, I believe the Guardians researcher will take an interest in this one."

"The Guardians researcher? How do you know? He hardly comes out of his section of the lab."

"...I have a hunch. They're both talkative, after all." With that, he finally lowered his barrier. "Just take the prototype up to his room. I'm sure if you let this one speak, he'll open the door from that alone." And with that, Grump left the room, leaving him after failure with an escort yet again.

With that, Leif finally let his own barrier down. He noticed just how tense the experience made him, and tried to relax enough to keep his body from aching. 

"You can speak?" the Roach asked. His voice lacked any ill will, but it startled the tension back into him all the same.

"Why yes..." Leif said, dryly.

"Huh," he responded. He seemed less like a Roach of science and more like one of muscle. "Well, come with me. I'm thinking you might like this next arrangement a little more. I know that he can be..."

"Grumpy?" he said, knowingly.

"Hah, yep."

And with that, they went on their way.


	4. The Guardians Researcher

This Roach took him on a narrow, secluded path in the lab. It was on a slow incline up, until it reached a couple of dusty stairs. With that, they were in front of a fairly large metal door, with a bulky speaker next to it. 

His escort pressed a button. 

"Hello? I was told to bring this Zommoth Prototype to you."

The speaker was silent, to the point that the Roach started to look nervous. But then it crackled to life. 

"Is that so now?" An old voice came out. "For what purpose?"

"Uh, well the lead researcher on bio-magical constructs… said he talks too much." Leif had to choke back a laugh. It was great to see Grump’s vagueness backfire.

"Oh? Talks too much? You're telling me those Roaches working on bio magic let that slide?"

The escort Roach nudged Leif towards the speaker. Leif did nothing, though. That last statement seemed ominous for someone who was supposed to be a better arrangement.

"Don't worry," the Roach whispered, "he has a good heart."

He was still uncertain, but that was certainly a sincere thing to say in place like this.

He presented himself to the speaker.

"Hello. We're the one that they let slide." 

Leif bit his lip. He was so used to being passive-aggressive around here that this kind of slipped out. He could only hope that this old bug would appreciate some dry humor.

The speaker was quiet for another while, but when the speaker turned back on again, it sounded as if the Roach had just been laughing. 

"Well why didn't you say so before? Let him in already! I demand to meet this guy!"

Leif, amazed, was ready to enter. But nothing happened to the door. There was no button but the one for the intercom, so the Roach pressed it again. 

"Um, the door-" 

But the door slid open mid his sentence. 

With such a warm welcome, Leif stepped inside without hesitation. He gave a small wave to the Roach who brought him here, who returned the gesture, before the door slid closed again.

Leif looked around the room.

It was quite long, with a faint dusty smell to it. It was unlike anything Leif had seen yet, as he was able to spot a lot of things here that looked like they didn't belong in a lab, but belonged in a normal home. There was a couch of sorts in the middle, with numerous bookshelves along the walls. The room also had many roots and other plantlife coming in through the soft soil that was the room’s ceiling, though there were also wires with the signature blue glow of the Roaches strung above. There were many crystals strewn about as well, with their blue glow providing most of the space’s light, as opposed to the more industrial lighting systems used in the rest of the lab. 

Lastly, though, there was a large computer in the far corner of the room. Hunched over its keyboard was an old looking Roach.

After a few clicks of keys, he turned and saw Leif standing there. 

“Why hello!” He said, before scuttling over. He firmly took Leif’s hand in his once he reached him. “My name’s Cato, what’s yours?”

Leif was nearly bowled over by his enthusiasm. The last time he experienced anything like that, he was in the light of the sun. 

“Um, we’re Leif.”

“Great to meet you Leif! You look like quite a regal bug, with your wings wrapped about you like that. I must say, I’m quite glad to see you still standing!”

After a moment or two of these compliments, somehow, Leif actually started to feel a bit irritated. This Roach, Cato, his manner seemed a bit… incorrect, for a place like this. He didn’t want to be mean, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say but this. “We’re… not here of our own will, you know.”

Cato’s brow furrowed at this. “Yes, I understand. I was just hoping to lighten the mood a little. Please, sit down. I imagine that you have a lot of questions.” Cato motioned to the couch that was also incorrect for a place like this. They both sat down.

Leif was grateful, however, to finally hear someone bring up the topic of questions who actually seemed as if they were willing to answer them. And yet, he wasn’t jumping at the chance to ask all that he had in mind as fast as he’d thought he would be. A feeling of mistrust was sitting inside him. Whenever he was with another Roach, he constantly felt a need to be on his guard.

But Leif supposed that such feelings would be a good place to start. 

“First… how do we know that we can trust you?” He hated feeling as if he was spurning Cato’s kindness, but he had to know this above all else.

“A fine question to start with,” Cato said, seeming much less bothered than Leif expected, “I know I just told you to sit down, but would you come with me?”

The two of them got up and went over to the big computer. On it, Leif saw pictures of three strange looking flowers. “I figure a good way to show you that I’m different from the others around here is by showing you what I do. You see these? Do any of them look familiar to you?”

Leif squinted at the pictures to see what they read. Mars, Pluto, and Venus. Something seemed familiar to him when he read that third name. 

“Venus… We think there was a town that worshipped a deity named Venus.”

“Ah yes, so you’re from Bugaria?”

Leif was surprised. “Yes, we are.”

“Heheh, it’s nice to hear that she’s doing well from an actual bug. But anyway, these three plants? They’re more than just plants, they’re Guardians. My mentor created them, not long after the Day of Reckoning.”

“Day of Reckoning?” Leif asked.

“Oh right, other bugs call it the Day of Awakening.”

Now Leif was shocked. “Your mentor lived not long after the Day of Awakening? But scholars peg that to have taken place hundreds of years ago.”

“Well yes. We Roaches have quite a history. Anyway, since my mentor passed on, I’ve upheld the task of monitoring the Guardians, plant entities who help bugs survive in our world. And, well, since the Awakening has spread further, increasing the scope of what is our known world… I made another one myself, not too long ago. In a world like ours, us bugs need all the help we can get. It’s unfortunate that you were from Bugaria, I really would have liked to have heard how Pluto is doing from one of his bugs.”

Leif was quite baffled by this. Was this Roach implying that he made a veritable deity? 

He looked at the screen more. The pictures all looked quite real, and it was evident that there were copious amounts of writings, notes and research stored in the computer.

That, and the fact that Cato could tell where he lived just by knowing which deity he recognised, gave him as much reason as any to believe that this Roach was telling the truth.

“Heh, it’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? I couldn’t even believe it myself when my mentor showed me what he’d done.”

“...Alright, you certainly do seem to know what you’re talking about,” Leif finally admitted. “And we really do appreciate seeing a Roach who has concern for other bugs.” He, however, could still feel his irritation simmering, though it was a bit hard to place why.

“Wonderful! Why don’t we sit down again?” They went back to the couch, as if Cato was trying his best to make a show out of providing some comfort around here. “So what would you like to know?”

Leif paused. A question quickly came to his mind that he didn’t really want to ask. But it tumbled out of him anyway. 

“If you care about the well-being of other bugs, in the way that it’s clear that you do, then why aren’t you doing something about the horrible things that are happening right below you? Why are you hiding away from it all?” Leif practically flinched at his own question.

Cato’s face became quite grim, at that. 

“Yes… perhaps it’s what we deserve."

“We do know of the suffering happening down below us. And yet, it only started up recently. Before, everyone was content to research crystals, cultivate technology, and care for our village inside this cave’s walls.”

“However, some of our brightest minds here have become much more… fearful. At this point, we’re practically the only Roach here that sees reason. I’ve tried to fight it, tried to tell them that what they were doing was wrong. I had authority, after all, being practically the oldest bug here, but the Roaches that yearned to act on their fears… they started experimenting in secret. And when I found out, they felt they were already too far into their research to abandon it.”

“My authority was taken from me by a crazed majority rule. Of course, I couldn’t leave, as all of my systems and research were already here. And, although I’d certainly considered telling other bugs outside of this den of the dangers of this place, I knew that if our labs were discovered, and destroyed for their cruelty, all this good, honest research could be compromised too.”

With each sincere word Cato explained, Leif’s hostility weakened and faded. He knew it wasn’t fair, pinning all responsibility on the back of one bug. And it was good to hear that he had tried to make a difference, even if he had failed. Even if Kjdrira, all the other subjects, and himself, were still in this place.

“Though, I did at least try to warn all of the kingdoms, from which bugs were being taken, of this place through letters, and attempts of word of mouth. But… seeing as you hail from Bugaria, I’m starting to wonder if that might have done more harm than good.”

Now this pained Leif. Of course, this Roach tried to send everyone a warning, and that just made the interest in this place even stronger. Yes, he knew that Elizant was simply trying to do something about it, to stop whatever horrible thing was stealing her and others’ citizens, but… to think he ended up here because he and his people couldn’t distinguish a warning from an invitation.

“I’m… truly sorry, for what you must have gone through,” Cato said, causing Leif to look up at him. Cato practically looked on the verge of tears. “You truly don’t belong here.

The cruelty of what these other Roaches are doing is because of our own problems, and no other bugs’. It shouldn’t have involved you.”

Leif needed a moment to collect himself. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t ready to accept an apology, not after being separated from his family and loved ones, knowing they must be trying their hardest to look for him even now, and not after having been tortured and experimented on against his will. 

But it was nice to hear that someone was sorry. That someone, particularly a Roach, genuinely cared.

And, that someone could also help him. He knew that the biggest thing lying between him and his escape was a lack of information. Well, here’s where he could start getting it.

“Alright. We’re ready to ask you other questions now. Questions that should be… more forgiving.”

Cato smiled, trying his best to regain the cheerful attitude he had before his last spiel. “Great! What would you like to know?”

“First off, our sib-” 

Darn all the stress, making him say things he didn’t intend to say. But he knew he was with good company, so he decided to let it go. 

“Our sibling, the other Zommoth Prototype, told us that these Roaches are looking for ‘true immortality’. And yet, we’ve heard in plenty of legends that you all are connected with the Everlasting Sapling. Seeing as you yourself are hundreds of years old, we imagine that this really is the case. So don’t you already know of immortality? What’s the goal in all this?”

“Ooh, well that’s a lot of Roach history to unravel there. But well, I’ll try to answer this as best as I can.”

“First of all, yes, us Roaches are connected to the Everlasting Sapling. It is very much real, and it does give everlasting life, in a sense, at least. You see, the Everlasting Sapling was one of the first things we had after the Day of Awakening. It was simply there, as long as any of us could remember, and it was what allowed us to survive. Back then, in the first days of Awakening, the world was a very dangerous place indeed. But eating a leaf from the sapling, that allowed our people to not have to worry about sickness or old age, only about taming the elements. With that, we were able to forge the first strongholds of civilization.”

“However, the sapling is a source of incredible power. And power has all kinds of consequences. There were all kinds of different ideologies within the Roach community about how it should be used. Some felt that its power should be provided to all bugs everywhere, some felt it was only befitting of the Roaches, some thought it should only be granted to the worthy… And, due to that, a civil war broke out amongst us. It was a long fought conflict. And seeing as we all had the power of the sapling, it was quite a violent war indeed.”

“Eventually, with our numbers cut down, we simply couldn’t take the fighting anymore. We came to a truce, though it was hard on all of us. We decided that the power of the sapling needed to be hidden away. If our ages of conflict couldn’t decide who should have the sapling, then nobody should have it. So we created five means of hiding it away. Four artifacts, and the fact that the sapling’s current location is one of the most dangerous places in our known world. Only with the ability to obtain all five of these things would anyone be able to unlock the sapling’s power, including us Roaches.”

“Because of that, all us Roaches here, we’re completely cut off from the sapling that used to support our livelihoods. I imagine all of the factions are coping differently, but this lab’s is likely coing the worst. The Roaches amongst this faction decided that they needed to invent their own way to be immortal. And not only that, they anticipate that our civil war will start up again one day, and that they’ll need to have something special to be able to be victorious in it. And that’s where you and the other subjects come into play. After all, we’ve known of magic’s properties for ages now. But being able to use it? That’s a whole different story. A story that could win wars…”

“...We see.” 

It was a lot for Leif to take in. It sounded intense, a civil war between immortal bugs. Cato must have seen a lot in his many, many years. 

But by the end, anger flared up in him. Of course, the notion of being creations that would help the world in times of crisis was a flat out lie. Unless, of course, these Roaches were so self-centered that they were referring to their own world, and their desire to protect their insular worldview from the rest of the real world. 

But worst of all, Kjdrira was holding onto this concept as her purpose, her lifeline…

“If I may, can I ask you something? You called the other Zommoth Prototype your ‘sibling’. In what way is she your sibling?” He asked, as if reading Leif’s mind.

Leif guessed it was only fair to give him some information in turn. 

“Oh… admittedly, we are unsure? The two of us decided on it, after we first met. We… have an incredible connection. It’s indescribable, really. But she is not my sibling by blood. We have no siblings.”

“Fascinating!” Cato practically beamed at this, taking Leif aback. Did Cato have some understanding as to why this would be?

This brought him right to his next question, the real question that he’d wanted answered since he first woke up in the lab. 

“What are we?” Leif leaned in towards Cato, abrupt and insistent.

Cato paused with a frown. “Oh, and I just told you I’d give you your answers…” he said under his breath.

“What?” Leif asked accusingly.

“Unfortunately, I simply can’t tell you.”

“Truly? And why not?” This made Leif upset very quick.

“Let me explain… there was a Zommoth Prototype before you and your sibling. An alpha varient, if you will. She also had questions, a lot like you. So we told her the truth of what she was. And, with that knowledge, she sunk into a deep apathy. It… basically rendered her lifeless.”

Leif was utterly shocked. What kind of knowledge could do that?

“I can’t be sure of if that would happen to you. But, for your sake, I simply cannot tell you. Not here, not like this. I don’t want to lose any more bugs to this place, if I can help it…”

It was clear enough to Leif that Cato was serious. 

He simply didn’t know how to respond. He was sure that he was going to get the answer to his magic, to the “we” in his speech, to his connection with Kjdrira, to his strange instinctual language… and yet here he was, with only the knowledge that this answer could nigh kill him. It was a harrowing feeling.

“...I really do want to get you out of here.” Cato said, finally.

Leif looked up from his thoughts. This was going to be the topic of his next question, something he was going to pose in frustration and anguish out of not being able to know what kind of abomination he really was. In hindsight, it was a good thing Cato said this himself.

“Could you not get us out of here? Just let me and my sibling out of the exit? Surely it couldn’t be that hard.”

“No, it is that hard. The entire den is covered with security cameras. Even if I staged a reason to have the two of you come with me to the exit, the other Roaches would be able to see you two leaving the cave, and they’d surely come after you, no matter what I could say. It would really take a lot to get you out of here…”

After saying this, Cato paused for a while, looking as if he was wrestling with something. 

“I want to dedicate myself to helping you escape. But, as much as it pains me to admit, I still do have a place in my peoples’ history. If I am to help you with this, it could get me exiled from this place, from my research, from the Roach community as a whole. It… could even get me killed. It’s a feeling I’m sure you know.”

When presented like that, it really hit Leif. Even another Roach was at risk because of Leif’s position. Getting help to escape… that really was an incredible asset.

“Because of this, may I ask you for one favor, before I help you?”

Leif was about to raise an eye on reflex. To find some reason why he should find this untrustworthy. But he forced it down. This Roach was truly a good person, and he knew earning his help would put him in real danger. 

“You may.” He answered, unflinching. He cared more about getting him and Kjdrira out than he did about hearing the terms.

“Oh, perfect.” Cato sounded quite relieved. “I was hoping to be able to do something like this for a very, very long time now.”

“What is it that you’d like from us?”

“Well, you might not like the sound of it… but we’d like to run an experiment of our own. We assure you, it won’t harm you, and if it works right, you could be a great asset to the world.”

“...That sounds familiar.” Leif mumbled. He knew he’d already agreed, so he’d have to be true to his word.

“Oof, you’re right. Sorry. But I promise, once you see what this entails, your concern will fade. Really, you might even be interested yourself.” Cato got up, and beckoned for Leif to follow him. 

He had him walk over to a strange table near the back of the room. On top of the table was a large case. Its shape was so strange that the contents couldn’t be guessed at. 

"Now, before I show you this, I have a question for you. You seem to know a lot about our legends, and about the Everlasting Sapling. You even speak our very language. I doubt that this was something you did out of leisure. So tell me, for what reason do you seek the Sapling?"

"It is not us who seek it out." Leif said, surprised that this hadn't come up sooner. "We serve Queen Elizant. She is searching for the Sapling."

He knew he sounded as if he was dodging the question, but he wanted to find out if that would suffice before continuing.

"What is her reason?" He asked.

"Honestly, we do not know her reasons in full. But we know that she acts for her people first. Her kingdom prospers, her people love her, and we would go to the ends of the world to fulfill her requests, as we know her wishes align with our own, with our family’s, and with all the bugs under her care. We are certain that, if she obtains the Sapling, she will use it for good.” 

Leif hoped that his proclamation would show how thorough his faith in her was. He didn’t want him to worry that the Sapling could fall into the wrong hands by Leif knowing more about it.

“Good.” Cato said, with almost abrupt quickness. “I can tell that you’re a bug of good judgement, and that you don’t place your trust in anything blindly.”

With that, Cato gripped a handle that was on top of the case, and carefully slid it open. 

Inside was a strange stone tablet, with blue, glowing lines.

"What's that?" Leif asked.

"This is one of the four artifacts to the Everlasting Sapling."

An unexpected sense of accomplishment went through Leif. He had managed to, albeit in an incredibly roundabout way, complete Elizant's mission after all. 

Here it was, the artifact deep inside Snakemouth Den. He found out this place's secrets, found out why so many bugs were disappearing, and managed to find the artifact inside. Whether this meant it would end up being Elizant's in the end, he couldn't say, but at least he could say he succeeded in his task, if he managed to escape.

“You see, all the artifacts are connected. They all share a common wavelength, a frequency of magical energy. To a normal bug, this is imperceptible. But to someone like you, someone who’s been imbued with magic, this wavelength should be detectable. So tell me, do you sense anything from this artifact?”

Leif waited a moment. He knew what sensing magic felt like, but only because of Kjdrira. Other than her magic, he’s never sensed anything in that way. He only now realized that this was odd, considering all the Roach technology ran on magic. 

“No… we don’t seem to sense anything.”

“Ugh, I had a feeling that would be the case. I was sure you would have mentioned something by now if you could feel it. There’s no doubt it’d be quite powerful.”   
Cato put the cover back down and started scuttling about the room, gathering all sorts of odds and ends in his arms. “What kind of magic do you have?”

“Ice magic.”

“Ah, fitting.” Cato was invested in his search for a bit before he spoke up again. “Not to traumatize you, but could you give us a quick overview of what was done to you in the lab so far, from your recollection?”

Leif shivered, but went ahead. 

“Well, of course we have no idea of what happened before we woke up here, but whatever happened it imbued us with magic and made us into… whatever we are. But not long after that, after we recovered our memories, we were put into a machine that was supposed to ‘reset our system’ as a means of making us an amnesiac again-”

Of course,” Cato groaned, “that must be it. They overstrained your system! I swear, these Roaches have no concept of consequences… We’ll just have to put that right.”

Cato grew quiet, focusing on his collecting. It was kind of amusing, witnessing the determination with which he shuffled and slowly leaned over. 

After a heap of crystals and other odds and ends were in his arms, he went to a rocky section of the wall. He managed to balance his pile well enough to press a hand on a particularly large section of rock, and to Leif’s surprise it opened up. 

Leif wandered inside as Cato entered, and found that it was a stunningly lavish looking bathroom, with polished, dark stones and crystal fragments along every surface. It had a large crater as a bathtub, and a shiny, wide mirror. 

“You have a bathroom this fancy in this place?” Leif inquired.

“This isn’t just where I work, it’s my home! After all, it’s much easier to stay away from a bunch of bugs you can’t stand if you never have to commute. It’s why the others always say I never leave my room. And, well, I always get to work at making the places I never leave cozy.”

Before Cato finished speaking, Leif became engrossed in his own reflection in the mirror. As soon as he saw himself, he realized that he hadn’t seen what he looked like since before he left for the scouting mission that got him here. 

He was relieved to see that he still looked like himself, and didn’t have a tentacle poking out of his head or anything. But he could also see that he really did look disheveled from everything he’d been through. His fluff and antenna were thoroughly ruffled, and his wings still had some patches of matted dirt from his searching through the mud in the opening portions of Snakemouth Den. 

He began to work at fixing his appearance, but didn’t get very far before he started to notice steam on the mirror. 

He turned, questioning, and realized that Cato had already managed to fill a whole warm bath. He was sprinkling leaves, flowers and oils of various plants on the water as a finishing touch, and then gave a pile of crystals to Leif. “Here, once you get in, put these down the center of your body, about three inches apart from one another.”

“A bath? You call this science?”

Cato was a bit perplexed by his reaction, but answered it anyway. 

“Bah, all the other Roaches have come to think that science means metal, pain and electricity now. Really, science is just finding what works, and this is going to work on your condition.”

“A bath is really going to fix us?” Leif said, starting to sound hesitant now.

“You sound as if we’re trying to put you in a torture chamber.” Cato said, unable to understand why he wasn’t jumping at the opportunity for a warm bath. 

“If you must know the theory behind it, that machine they used to try and reset your body really just mucked up your nervous system. This is going to keep your body from sensing things the way it should, particularly things that resemble that power the machine used, which was likely just raw magic. So, if we really relax your nervous system at its root, you should be opened back up to being able to sense magic again.”

“Interesting.” Leif responded, not moving.

“...What’s the matter with you?”

“We do not like water,” Leif finally admitted. “Can’t stand it, really.”

“Truly? So much so that you’d deny a nice warm bath? How do you stay clean?”

“We manage.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect this. But I can’t think of another way to relax your body, save for a full body massage, which I simply can’t provide you in my old age. So I’m just going to have to remind you that this is your ticket to freedom. I wasn’t planning on forcing you to do anything against your will, but with this being what you’re getting forced into, I must say I’m unsympathetic. Who knows, you might enjoy it. Maybe even turn over a new leaf from it.”

Leif gave him a sharp look over the pun. “And here I was, thinking you were a good bug.” Leif asserted melodramatically. But he knew he had no choice, though at least it was for the right reasons this time. And part of him did know he was being unreasonable. 

He slowly stepped forward. He reached the edge before pausing again. “What if this causes us to freeze the water, on accident, while we're still in it?”

“Oh don’t worry, it’ll be too warm to freeze in one shot. But if the edges of the water do start to freeze by the end, it’ll probably just mean your magic is free flowing and the process is complete.” 

Leif still hesitated, but Cato waved him in. “Just relax! That’s the whole point!”

Finally, Leif placed his foot in the water. It bothered him, but at least it kicked up some nice scents from all the plantlife Cato added in.

Once Cato saw that he was finally getting in, he turned to leave. “Alright, I’ll give you the privacy that you need to unwind. Just shout if you need anything.”

Leif was glad that he decided to leave, giving him his own space to wrestle with his discomfort. He agitatedly wriggled into the water, until he stiffly lied in it, probably not being as submerged as he could have been. 

It was almost too hot, just cool enough to not be unbearable. He would have preferred this temperature before the lab, but now it just felt… antithetical. 

He was starting to notice how large the tub really was, fascinatingly so considering Cato was much shorter than him. But despite this, Leif was stuck stiff in the corner of it. He was starting to wonder if this wasn't a futile effort, but he guessed it was as good a time as any to try and face his fear. Well, he's always liked to think of it as just an aversion, but the way Cato spoke to him made him willing to reconsider. 

He took the crystals, still gathered in his arms, and slowly moved his arms through the liquid to place them down his body. He also slowly uncurled his wings. 

Once everything was in place, he closed his eyes. He figured, if he was still and wasn't seeing it, he could let go of the fact that he was halfway submerged. Besides, with everything that was put in the water, it was more like he was in a field of flowers than a bath. The water even felt different, almost like a cushion, from whatever had been done to it. 

With all the comfort being provided, he was really able to notice how it contrasted with the tension in his body. His shoulders were pinched, his neck strained, even his wings felt sore from having clutched around him in reflex attempts at extra security. He could tell, now, that all this was slowly but surely thinning out, and to that he was grateful.

The crystals, too, contrasted against a very interesting feeling. With them present like this, he was noticing a different sort of tension, but not one that was restricted to one part of his body. It felt like there was a constant shiver going through him, a strange buzzing vibration, that was continually pushing against the crystals. He couldn’t feel anything from the crystals themselves, but he could surely feel his reaction to them. This must have always been his body’s response to magic, since that machine as Cato said, and he just wasn’t aware of it.

He lied there, waiting, but this feeling wasn’t subsiding like the tension in his muscles was. Something about it seemed different. 

He started to consider that maybe he was supposed to relax mentally, as well as physically, for this to actually work. Stress was a key part of tension. So he tried to find a way to relax. He wanted to, after all. 

And, if there was anything he wasn’t when he was here, it was relaxed. He was worried about his loved ones outside, he was concerned about his escape, he was troubled by what the experiments truly made him become…

No, those were the wrong thoughts to have. He had to find something calming to think about. 

His first instinct was to think about good times he had with Muse. He began to trace through all the good things about their relationship in his mind. 

They worked off each other well from the moment they met. She had found her way to the Ant Kingdom after all kinds of traveling, and happened to spot him reading on his own in the park. They got to talking, and it was quickly evident that they both revelled in wit and sarcasm in just the same ways, but simply celebrated it differently. Her comments were spicy and sassy, and his were dry and cool. 

And after that realization came the flirting. It was something he had nearly no experience in before, but it just seemed like the thing to do then, in her company. And the rest was history. 

The way they talked to each other, each conversation was like a dance, artistic and satisfying. And they held so much interest in each other that they could have those conversations for hours on end. They really were perfect for each other.

But then came the thoughts of her being without him. Of her searching for him without end. Of the thought that, if he couldn’t make it out of here, or couldn’t make it out of here alive, she would have to go at that future alone, and he wouldn’t be able to be part of it after all…

No, that wasn’t working. He couldn’t relax thinking about her with all that was at stake. He considered thinking about his mother or father, but he knew the same thing would happen if he tried. He simply cared about them too much to be able to relax to their memory, without any confirmation that all would be right in the end.

He was at a loss for a little while, but then it finally dawned on him. He actually had been able to feel relaxed in this place, but only when he was with Kjdrira. Surely, thinking about her would allow him to relax. 

Yes, there were uncertainties about how she was doing, and whether or not they’d be able to get out in the end, as well, but they weren’t so bad, at the moment. To Grump, she was still alright, and he was in charge of something in this place. And yes, the two of them escaping was still dangerously unclear, but he had made a promise to her. The fact that he had done this, somehow, made him feel better about it.

So he thought about the times he spent with her, though few that they were. About how frequently they seemed to read each other’s minds, about how safe they could feel in each other’s presence, about how the rest of the cruel world seemed not to matter when they were together… 

But for some reason, part of him felt uncomfortable, and it wouldn’t go away. When he was with her, all that stuff seemed to fade, but without her around… it just didn’t add up. 

It was obvious, there connection had something to do with whatever he, and he assumed she too, had become after waking up. It was as if that part of him reacted around her.

But was that… really him? Could he even trust that part of him, after he escaped? He had strange magic powers, and was practically a monster, was he not? Was she not, too?

How would the people he knew react to it all? How would they react to calling this strange new monster “family”?

This wasn’t working either. It was a real shame, too, because he knew it would have been if she was physically present with him. Alone, however, his troubles overcame him, and took over his thoughts every time.

Something about that train of thought caught his attention. His troubles took over his thoughts… that was a key to being able to relax in this place, he could tell. And yet, how could he do that, when he was, in a very literal sense, in a snake’s mouth? There were so many odds, so many unknowns, so much at stake.

But what was it that made his thoughts automatically turn to these things? Why couldn’t he let go, for even a moment?

And then it hit him. In that machine, when they were trying to get rid of his memories, he couldn’t let go. He clung to them for dear life, and he clung to all of it, the good and the bad. And while he felt that this was a good decision to make at the time, right now it just kept his issues stuck to him, just like it kept that shivering vibration fighting against the harmless energy that was coming from the crystals.

But really, what good would it all do him right now? The logical thing to do when in a tricky situation is to just stop, look at where you are, and take the steps towards the solution one step at a time, even for a situation like the one he was in. So what use was there in constantly trudging up all his worries and uncertainties? Especially about things he wouldn’t even be able to find out about until he managed to succeed in his escape anyway.

So he took a deep breath, decided to just focus on the here and now, and let all his other thoughts go. After all, they would be there after he’d calmed down. They were far too important to just disappear.

He regarded the way the water felt, the stones of the tub beneath him, the sounds of his breath, a faint buzzing sound from the wiring that ran on the ceiling in the other room, the scents around him, the now relaxed feeling in his muscles… and that sensation of power that was rushing up to meet him.

...That wasn’t there before. 

This must have been the intended result. 

He was starting to feel the energy radiating out of the crystals that were on him, as well as an intense energy that was ringing through the entire room. It was almost too much to bear. It tingled through his skin, stole his focus... 

He managed to notice that the water was cooling down, rapidly. Leif practically jumped out of it. And then he practically fell. All this energy he was suddenly feeling made him dizzy. His eyes were open now, but barely. Even the light was too bright. 

He stepped out of the water, and attempted to call out to Cato.

“Mjaj! Seclerjei…?”

He was stunned. This wasn’t Roach coming out of his mouth. And yet there was no reason that should be. As much as it came out of him with no explanation before, it never stopped him from speaking with a different language instead. 

"Mebsrgr…?" His attempt to change it failed.

He left the room, walking a but funny from all his senses being impacted so thoroughly. 

He spotted Cato, doing something unaware of Leif. Go figure he said that Leif could just shout if he needed anything, and yet he was hard of hearing. 

Leif reached out a shaking hand and tapped him on the shoulder. Cato jumped and quickly turned around, and looked sheepish from realizing he must not have heard him. But then his expression shifted when he saw Leif looking like he was struggling.

"Ulstha serkernen."

Cato started looking him over. "You can still understand me right?" Leif nodded. "Are you feeling something new?" He asked, and Leif nodded heavily. He included some sweeping gestures to try to indicate that he was feeling everything, and more of all of it.

"The feeling's everywhere?" Leif shook his head. Cato paused, but then snapped his fingers. "Sensory overload?" Leif nodded, squinting.

"Hm, I wasn't really expecting that… but I should have a solution. Sit down. This will take me a moment, but I'll try to be fast."

Leif hobbled to the couch, closed his eyes and rubbed at his head. Now he was having the opposite problem of what he was having before. His thoughts were being scattered at the slightest change in his environment. 

He even… seemed to be able to sense Kjdrira's magic. It wasn’t strong, but it was coming from below him, and to the right. She must have been down a floor and several rooms away, and yet he was able to pick her up. It really showed how much he was being affected, or how powerful she truly was.

Cato hobbled back, he could tell by his footsteps. He could sense a long crystal in his grip. It seemed different from other crystals, giving off a yellow feel. 

"First, this should help to take the edge off. Stand up for me." 

Leif got himself up, and Cato waved the crystal in front of his body, at a very particular speed, on all sides. 

This suddenly made a shift in the way he felt. His senses, for the most part, started to relax. He could open his eyes, and his head didn't hurt from the overwhelm. But he could still feel magic, intensely so. The strength of it still put a quiver in his stance.

"You're looking better. Please forgive this old fool, I should have thought to put a yellow crystal with your batch, to balance things. How are you doing?"

"Kiderjerk, na…" Leif just shook his head.

"Hm… Let me just get you something to write on. I want to make sure I understand the problem."

Leif was brought a pen and paper, and he, though slowly since he practiced the Roach writing system a lot less than the spoken language, wrote that his other senses weren't overstimulated anymore, but magic still felt very strong, and he assumed that was what was messing with his speech and causing him discomfort. 

Cato read the message, took a moment to think again, and then, with an aha, he left to find something new.

He came back with a large glass bottle that had a dark substance inside. "Here, this oil absorbs things, particularly the waves that are given off by raw magic. If you swallow it, it should create a barrier against concentrated magic. And, so long as they rigged you up the way they always have... ingesting it won't cause any interference to your own magic." 

Cato handed him the bottle, and while Leif was a bit disgruntled with the way this whole experiment of his was going, he certainly didn't want to be stuck speaking his weird language for the rest of his life. He drank it down, and they waited for a couple of minutes.

"How are you now?"

Leif didn’t answer right away. He could still feel all the magic, in such a way that he was starting to wonder if anything really changed. But he began to feel like he had the ability to overcome its effects. With a bit of effort, he could assert his own will over the magic coursing around him.

“We’re… alright.” Leif said. He officially stood up straight, able to finally have some normalcy again.

“Phew, glad to finally have you back to talking in Roach. Sorry that ended up causing so many complications. I had no idea you’d be so sensitive.”

“Well… people have always said we’re perceptive.” Leif didn’t want Cato to be too concerned. He was just happy to be one step closer to his escape.

Cato shuffled a bit, looking nervous. “Can you come with me? To the artifact? I just want to make sure all is well, and that this will work as intended.”

Leif nodded plainly, just wanting to get it over with. 

They went back over to the table with the case, and Cato lifted it once more. The artifact rested there, glowing. Cato removed it, and handed it to Leif.

He simply held it for a second, but then he suddenly reeled back. 

“Skelska…! Kumrei sjaika!”   
He caught himself after the outburst, squinting, but after the initial shock from that increase in proximity, he ultimately felt alright, just as he had.

“Oh no, was our work undone?!” Cato asked, really looking ashamed.

“N-no, we’re still okay. We reacted to the magic being up close again, but it only seems to last a moment.” Leif gave him back the artifact, and Cato put it back away. After Cato did so, his face lit up with realization. 

“Leif… do you know what you are now? You’re a living artifact detector! If that happens with all the other artifacts, which it surely should as they all have the same make up…

You could give leads on where the artifacts might reside, or detect the real ones from forgeries!”

Leif was stunned. Cato was exactly right, he was now a natural artifact detector. And judging by Cato’s excitement, it looked like that was exactly what he was hoping to achieve. 

“So… This is what you were hoping would happen? You said we would be an asset to the world with this? What if we don’t want to have anything to do with the artifacts, or the Everlasting Sapling?” This wasn’t really how he felt, but he wanted to see Cato’s answer.

Cato gave him an understanding look. “Please, don’t misunderstand. I don’t want to do anything to your fate. You can keep this a secret from everyone and forget all about it if you’d like, once we get you out. All I wanted is to know that someone, somewhere, would be out there who could really know if the artifacts were being messed with. That there would be someone who could have some kind of an ability to defend bugkind against this unbelievable power falling into the wrong hands, even if it was just by giving someone a mysterious hint if you sensed an artifact one day. 

"After all… I can tell you care about other bugs. About justice, and safety. You really don’t have to do anything with this power, now that it’s yours. But I can tell. You wouldn’t simply turn a blind eye, if you knew that there was any dangerous activity surrounding these artifacts.”

Leif was greatful for Cato's words on his nature. With how the scouting mission went, he was starting to wonder if he’d really made any right choices, by telling his team to leave when he got stuck, or by going on the mission at all. With that reassurance, he knew that the way he handled the mission really would have been inevitable. He really did care about those around him.

And he knew that Cato spoke the truth, too. Leif knew that he would use this newfound ability responsibly.

Now the victory that Leif felt when he first saw this artifact was multiplied. Not only had Leif found the artifact in Snakemouth Den, he now had the ability to find all four, and the Sapling, once and for all. He couldn’t wait, now more than ever, to return to Elizant.

“Thank you for your faith in me. We promise, the Sapling won’t end up in the wrong hands. We do intend to aid Elizant, after all, and we know that all will be well if the Sapling becomes hers. And if anything goes awry, we will keep bugkind safe, to the best of our ability.”

An expression of great relief came over Cato. “Thank you. Now I can have hope that the world won’t come to ruin because of us Roaches and our faults.”


	5. The Escape Plan

After all that had transpired, Cato wanted to give Leif a break. He offered to make Leif a real meal, and when Leif beamed Cato gave a hearty laugh, knowing what the food quality for the lab subjects was like. 

He made an interesting salad, out of all different kinds of plants and herbs. It tasted great, despite the huge quantity of different flavors. Cato also said it was filled with all kinds of rare vitamins and nutrients, which Leif barely heard with how busy he was eating the entire thing. He heartily complimented Cato’s cooking, and he needed another serving, which Cato was glad to supply.

After this, they began to discuss their escape plan. Cato seemed to have an idea already in mind. He pulled up a map of the lab on his computer to show Leif what there was to work with.

“You see, the lab has three entryways. The gigantic doors are on the outside, which are the ones you saw before you fell to where the spider would be. Then there’s an inner door, which is operated by a crystal. And then there’s a third door, which is the one that lets into the actual lab. By this, you can tell how paranoid the Roaches were when they started constructing this place.”

“The one thing in our favor is that the lab is left unmanned at night. All the Roaches leave to their homes in our village. But they seal the back exit to the village, and those gigantic doors at the front, at night. Unfortunately, there’s no way to change that. I think the control room for the doors got permanently locked on accident, actually, what with all these bugs being fools… So we’ll have to make our escape in the daytime. But we’ll be able to prepare at night. And, because I know a thing or two about how the second door functions, I believe we’ll get to set up a pretty good plan of escape.”

Leif looked over the map, absorbing the details, as Cato looked at the time displayed on the monitor. 

“Oh good, the workday ended about twenty minutes ago. First thing’s first, though, I’ll need to disarm the security cameras. Another good thing about making this place into my home, is that all the other Roaches who want to escape to their own homes at the end of the day left me in charge of internal security by default.” 

Cato flicked through different windows on his monitor, and shut off an application running the security cameras. 

“If only I had access to the cameras in the rest of the den. That would probably help us a fair bit. But anyway, we’re free to move around now. Come with me. Part of this plan necessitates you.”

The two of them left Cato’s room, descending the stairs and the tight hallway to the main area of the lab. It looked all the more eerie with none of the lights on. 

They made their way to the first front entrance, and back into the room with the water that halted Leif’s first escape attempt. The drawbridge was still up. Leif wondered now if it ever really got lowered.

“This is where you come in. This drawbridge is almost never lowered. I think it might even be broken."

That answered that question.

"So, we’ll need you to be able to pass. I’m hoping you can freeze the moat.”

Leif developed a vindictive smile. “Freezing a body of water after that bath will be quite cathartic.”

“Come now, it _did_ get you to relax. You enjoyed it and you know it.”

As if to answer Cato’s statement, Leif summoned an orb of ice magic. He threw it down onto the water’s edge. That section did freeze, but in a very uneven fashion. Leif tried throwing a second orb, and tried to mentally spread it out, but it didn’t cause the ice to spread much farther, and it still looked very hard to walk on.

“Hm. This seems a bit too inefficient.”

“Wait, we have another idea.” Leif stepped over to another section of water. Over there, he threw up an orb and formed an ice crystal above him, explicitly trying to make the top of it flat. He let it fall in front of him. This made an even platform. Leif stepped on it briefly, and saw that it was stable, before jumping back off of it. It thawed out pretty quick. 

“This seems to be the best we can do.”

Cato cringed a bit. “If putting one of those in front of the other is the fastest we can go, we’ll have to really augment my original plan…”

Leif’s eyes lit up once he realized how this could be done even better. 

“No, this isn’t the best we can do. Well, it may be the best we can do, but not the best _we_ could do.”

“Your “we”s get a bit confusing sometimes.”

“We mean us and our sibling. We were made to try using our magic together. She has an attack that summons a beam, and when we combined it with our ice, it created a straight path of ice, even on solid ground. That would get us across in an instant!”

Cato's cringe faded to excitement. “Woah, that must truly be a sight to behold!” Leif began to wonder if what they could do to this very moat was why Grump reacted so strongly to seeing their magic combined. 

“For now though, we’ll use you alone to get across. We have to go into the next room to set things up.”

Leif froze their path, ice block by ice block, through the moat. Leif, despite his aversion to water, was confident in his abilities, but when Leif looked back to how Cato was doing, he saw that he looked a little nervous with this means of passage. It was amusingly ironic.

Once they were on the other side, Cato hit a switch on the side of a round stone door. It rolled out of their way, leading to a small alcove with a blue glow. In the middle stood a pillar with a fairly large crystal planted in it. 

Cato walked over to it, and beckoned Leif to follow. “This crystal here isn’t an ordinary crystal, it’s a gemstone. They were invented before the civil war, and only a few exist. They’re supercomputers, all on their own." 

"This one was programmed to be able to detect what kind of bug entered this room, as well as having voice and hand recognition capabilities. It would immediately notify the rest of the lab if a bug that wasn’t a Roach entered, and it told security which Roach was coming in and out, though it’s not like that feature gets used any more, what with the fear of the outside world these Roaches developed, from all their mistakes.” 

Cato always sounded bitter when he referred to the rest of the Roaches here. It was an attitude that Leif could really get behind.

Cato positioned a few tools he brought with him in his hands. Two of them were wedges, and the third was a device that applied heat. Cato stood there for a while and let the heat do its work. Suddenly, he stopped. 

“There, that should do it. Leif, see if you can pull the crystal out. You’ll likely be the one who will have to do it, after all.”

To Leif, it didn’t look like anything about the crystal changed. But he gave it a tug, and out it came without much resistance. 

Immediately, the blue glow in the room went out, and the door began to close. Leif quickly placed the crystal back down, not wanting there to be any chance of them getting shut out at this point.

“Perfect.” Cato said, with a twinge of vengeance in his voice. This was something new, coming from him.  
Leif looked at him, intrigued. “This seems to have more implications than just allowing for our escape.”

“You certainly are perceptive, Leif. Yes, it does. If this gemstone is removed from the pedestal and destroyed, it’ll be sealing the way out for the Roaches in here, most likely for good. This way, you’ll actually be able to escape, regardless of the cameras here, regardless of the fact that these Roaches would loathe to have you two flee from them.”

“Wait," Leif started, wide eyed, "you’re willing to seal the lab to let the two of us escape? We thought you wanted to make sure that your research wouldn’t get compromised. And wouldn’t the Roaches go after you if they find out that you let their two best subjects escape? It could mean your life!”

“Don’t you worry so much. I have my own plans based around this. I won’t let the other Roaches burn me at the stake. But my plans for backing up my research will take time, and I don’t intend to force you and your sibling to wait for me to finish that before you’re able to escape. Besides, my room is the highest portion of the lab. If anyone’s going to be able to escape once the lab gets sealed, it’ll be me.”

Leif simply stared back at him. He didn’t know how to respond. Cato certainly sounded confident, but he wondered if it was just a front for his sake.

“But, most importantly, it will also buy you two time. After all, as much as I’d like to ensure your safety after leaving here… none of the Roaches would let you go scott free. If they manage to leave the cave through the back entrance, past the spider and the drop and all, they will search endlessly for you.”

“And we revealed that we're close to Elizant, in the stress of it all…!” Leif hissed.

“Mm… If you want to keep your kingdom safe, you’ll have to prepare, and bring back the knowledge of this place to your Queen.” 

Now Leif’s scouting mission didn’t just feel like a victory, it felt like an imperative necessity. 

“But this will keep them contained for a long time. You’ll have plenty of time to decide your course of action. And it won’t even harm the Roaches any, since they’ve worked so hard at cutting themselves off from anything outside this cave. Really, if you and your sibling escape this way, all should go well.” 

Leif was still concerned that Cato could have been sacrificing himself for them. But it was clear that Cato thought this through, and that this really must have been the best way. And so, he nodded in agreement.

With that, they headed back in.

Once they were in the main part of the lab, they discussed the rest of the plan.

"At this point, I’d say the most important thing now would be discussing this escape with your sibling. And, if your agitation at our explanation of the true motives behind this lab showed me anything, it was that she’s been propagandized into believing whatever the Roaches wanted her to believe.”

Leif scowled. “Yes, this is true.”

“In that case, we might have some explaining to do. We need to ensure she is completely on board, after all, in order for this plan to work.”

Leif agreed. Then Cato asked, "Do you know how to get to where she's usually kept?"

"No, but we can sense her so well now that we can find our way anyhow." 

"Truly? That's the scope of what you can sense?"

"Indeed. Or, well, it could just be our incredible sibling bond." He meant the statement humorously, but he half said it as a reaffirmation. After all, he'd need that sibling bond to come through now like no other time, if he was going to be able to shatter the lies Kjdrira had been made to believe so thoroughly.

At that, the two of them went towards the hall with the other subjects. For the first time, Leif lead the way for a Roach. 

They went past all the rooms of sleeping subjects, past all the other bugs that were cold and alone. As much as it bothered him to be leaving them here as well, he knew that they’d only really have a chance to be helped if he and Kjdrira could manage this escape. He knew, the moment he reported this place to Elizant, that she would see to it that something would be done about it.

Finally, they reached the last chamber. Leif rushed to the bars, and peered inside. 

As if his presence alone called out to her, Kjdrira opened her eyes.

“(Leif! You’re here, now?)” It was as if she was trying to find out if this was a vivid dream.

“(Yes, we're here. And we're keeping our promise.)” Leif told her. 

He turned to Cato, who was still out of sight from the bars. He was listening with a look of awe on his face.

“Um, could you open the door for us?”

“Oh, right!” Cato put in the code, and Leif slipped in, taking his usual spot next to her. Cato slowly followed him.

“(Kjdrira, this is Cato. He’s an incredibly old Roach, and he really knows a lot. He answered all our questions, and he’s going to help us leave this place.)”

“(You’re going to get to leave?”) She asked with amazement, almost as if she forgot his promise to take her with him.

“(Yes, and you’ll be coming with us.)”

“(O-oh…)” She answered, with a very agitated, indecisive look on her face.

Leif paused. He could sense a new kind of anguish from her. “(Did anything happen, since we last saw you?)”

She squirmed, but she forced herself to calm down. If what she was about to say was safe with anyone, it would be safe with him. 

“(Well… we had to go through a training regimen, after what happened between us. Grump made us train for hours, until we were tired and hungry. And then, after a long time… he brought other subjects in. He said he wouldn’t let us rest or eat until we used our magic on them. We can’t defend ourselves like you can, Leif. We’re not that strong. We… we caved. And after that, he told us that if we ever left this place… we’d surely hurt other bugs out there, just by our nature. With the kind of magic we have, we could only use it for good with proper instruction from Roaches. Otherwise, we just cause pain and disaster... We always knew it would be this way, too…)” 

After she got it all out, she curled in on herself.

Leif’s expression was furious, but his eyes gave away forming tears that showed how deeply this hurt him. 

She was already afraid of the power of her magic, and it was clear to him that before this, she didn’t even have a reason to be. Now she knew for sure she could hurt others with her magic, all because of Grumps sadistic machinations…

Cato watched the two of them, getting a sense of the gravity of their conversation from their voices and expressions alone. “C-can you translate…?” He asked hesitantly.

Leif just shook his head, blinking back the tears. 

“(Kjdrira,)” Leif coaxed. She shrunk back, unable to bring herself to look at him.

He focused on being as calm as he could muster. He needed to impart that feeling to her, after all.

“(You won’t be of harm to others with us. You weren’t able to hurt us, remember? And if we needed to, we could always calm you down in an instant.)” He put his hand on her back. “(You do the same for us, after all…)” 

She quivered, but finally showed her face. She looked up at him with fearful eyes. 

“(You trust us, right?)”

“(Yes.)” It was clear she forced herself not to hesitate once that question was presented to her.

“(Then trust us when we say you’re better off without the Roaches. It’s their fault, that you hurt those bugs.)”

“(B-but, they didn’t hurt them. We’re the one who hurt them!)”

“(But you wouldn’t have been able to hurt them if it wasn’t for the Roaches. The other subjects wouldn’t have been in the room with you if it wasn’t for the Roaches. You wouldn’t have been tired and hungry if it wasn’t for the Roaches. You wouldn’t have even had magic if it wasn’t for the Roaches! All this… they did this to you.)”

She fidgeted, looking down at her hands. He could feel her understanding that his words held truth, but she didn’t know how to reconcile it. 

“(We’ve always had this magic. There was never a time before that… it’s all just hazy concepts, dreams, imagination…)”

It was then, he knew, that if he wanted to dispel one lie, he’d have to dispel them all. And the only way to do that was to give her her past back. But she was made to be so certain of its falsehood.

But these were lies. They must have some loophole, some crack he could force open.

“(Kjdrira… How could you know what the sun is like? If here is all that there ever was, if you were never taught about the way it feels… how could you have that thought?)”

“(We… don’t know. But you’ve had dreams, haven’t you? They… just don’t make sense sometimes. I don’t know why the sun, the long days in the grass, why this is the dream that just gets… stuck. But it is, and that’s… all there is to it.)”

He cringed, internally, at her explanation. There must have been some way to get this through to her, to shatter that uncertainty in her mind.

And then it hit him.

“(What about those two bugs, who you said were always with you. What do you know about them?)”

She continued to look uncomfortable, but she wanted to answer this for Leif. She stilled her fidgets and just paused, for a good long while, staring into space, looking at something with her mind’s eye.

“(...One of them could sing. She… she’d do that for us, if we were upset. And the other one… he hugged us, and picked us up, a lot. And they’d let me take them out, into the sun and the grass, and show them things that I discovered…)”

Leif knew he just had to remind her of one thing. One thing, and the veil would come down.

“(...Do you miss them?)”

A flash went through her eyes. And in an instant, they were filling with tears.

“(...I do. I... really do!)” She collapsed into tears. 

Without hesitation, Leif went to embrace her. His own tears couldn’t be stopped now. He simply held her, though he knew even he couldn’t make up for the ones she truly wanted right now.

He let her cry for as long as she needed. Once she let out all the lies, he and Cato could begin to give her more of the truth.

“(Leif… we would like to leave with you, now. We trust you, about our magic, about the Roaches… now we just want to know the truth.)” She said, rubbing her eyes. 

Leif broke from their embrace, and she looked up at the Roach in front of them. He was teary eyed as well.

Leif acted as a translator between them, asking Cato Kjdrira's questions and explaining any Roach words to Kjdrira that she didn't recognize.

"(What… is our purpose?)" This was the first question she wanted answered.

Cato took a while to think. It seemed like he didn’t know how to be as sharp with Kjdrira is he could be with Leif. 

"Well, that's a question with two answers. Your purpose, really, should just be whatever you want it to be. Your life is your own, and in the world out there, you can do what you want with it. But, regarding what the Roaches felt your purpose was… they made you the way you are for the sake of a war between many different groups of Roaches, that happened a long time ago. Your purpose, in their eyes, was to serve their side, not the world as a whole."

Leif explained a little more about the Roach civil war, from what Cato explained to him earlier, when she didn't quite get the concept.

Her expression was blank. Leif could get a sense of all the different emotions that were turning inside her. Confusion, anger, disbelief, uncertainty… but they weren't externally evident to anyone but her sibling, yet. "(Why… are we like this? What are we, really?)"

Leif translated, and Cato shifted, looking extra nervous. At this, Leif gave him a hard look, signaling for him not to say anything. 

"(You're just a moth, like us. The Roaches put weird stuff in us to give us magic, but really, we're no different from any other bug.)" 

He knew this was a lie, even without any real knowledge to base that on. But this was the best he could say, when the closest thing to an actual answer sounded more like a horror story than truth.

Cato’s expression held a look of surprise, but also one that showed that he understood his decision. 

Kjdrira, at this, was actually, finally, starting to look resentful. 

"(...Why did this happen to us?)" She finally asked. 

Leif paused, and was about to translate, when she shook her head, shaking off this hateful emotion as well. 

"(Oh, no, you don't need to translate that. We know you two don't have the answer for it.)" 

She looked up with a weary smile. "(We think that's all we really need to know. We'll probably be confused, unsure of what to feel, for a while, really. Or, at least, until we see… them again. But we really do want to leave, now. Leif, you really showed us that something about the way things were for us all this time… something wasn't right.)"

Leif smiled at her, too. 

He couldn't wait to show her the real world, to remind her of what agency and free will was like. He especially couldn’t wait to find her parents. He couldn’t even imagine how precious that reunion would be.

And he had a feeling that, together, when they could have some room to breathe, they'd be able to finally figure out what they really were. Whatever horrible thing it was, surely they could face it together. After all, they must both have been the same thing. They could discover the real truth through one another.

Leif explained to Cato that she was ready, and Cato enumerated on their escape plan. 

He explained that their power combined would need to freeze the moat, which Kjdrira got quite excited about being able to put to use, and explained the gemstone that would have to be destroyed. 

"That's really all you'd have to do. The trick is getting you both to be able to be together at the same time, in a way that would cause the least amount of suspicion possible. That is my role, in all this. I'll have to tell the one in charge of you that I need you both in order to test something. If I pose my request right, it shouldn't be a problem, and then I'll be able to position you two in front of the exit with the right timing for you two to make a run for it.”

He gave them a long look, at the end of his explanation. Something shined in his eyes. “I do believe this will all go smoothly,” he finally said.

They all agreed, and Cato and Leif had to be on their way. Leif and Kjdrira gave each other one final embrace before Cato shut the bars behind them. Then, they went to get in position for the pivotal day ahead.

Leif and Cato returned to his room, and Cato flicked back on the security cameras before going to his own bed. Leif was able to sleep on his couch. 

With the couch’s comfort, the comfort of the plan being in place, and the comfort of finally having saved his sibling from an oblivion of lies, despite all that rested on what would happen that next day, he quickly fell asleep.

An alarm came out of the computer that woke Leif up. Cato wandered out of his own room and turned it off. 

"Good morning Leif." Cato said, wearily. It didn't seem like he got as good of a sleep as Leif did. 

"As soon as we're ready, we'll go down together. I'll speak to the lead researcher on bio-magical constructs and ask him to have you both, hopefully before he begins to implement his scheduled tests for the day."

“We’re coming with you?” Leif asked. He was used to being put behind bars while Roaches went about their business, at this point.

“Yes. If I bring you, it’ll show that I’m trying to be expedient. I want to have to talk to him as little as possible, after all.”

Cato started readying himself, his shuffles more rigid now. Leif simply watched as he put on a lab coat, which he hadn’t worn at any point since Leif had met him, and gathered a few things into his pockets. 

It wasn't long before they left his room, descended the stairs and walked to a new portion of the lab. It had a larger security door than most, but once the code was punched they were granted entrance. This area seemed to have offices and work stations. It had more Roaches in it than any of the other areas Leif had been in. These Roaches all eyed him with a lot more apprehension than the ones that saw him when he first woke up did.

Cato hurriedly went to a speaker in front of one of the doors. "It's Cato. I have an urgent request." He said, curtly.

After a fairly long span of time, the doors slid open without a word out of the speaker, and Grump showed himself. Leif’s magic almost flared up on its own at the sight of him, but he tamped it down. He couldn’t afford even the chance of making anything go wrong.

Based on Grump’s expression, though, it looked as if Leif’s presence alone was already enough to cause that. His face was twisted in a grimace. “What do you think you’re doing, bringing a subject into the administrative space?!”

“Oh come now, you know full well he’s not mindless. Look, I don’t even need to tell him to sit or stay put.” Cato huffed, and he went in the door without looking back. 

Grump shot Leif a sharp glance before turning inside himself, the door shutting behind him.

Leif felt a bit odd, standing without a Roach assigned to him. If he didn’t trust Cato’s plan with his life, he would be trying his own luck at escaping right then. Luckily, none of the other Roaches around looked like they were intending on bothering him, so he was free to stand there. 

But then he noticed how quiet this area was, and how thin this door seemed to be compared to other security doors, as he could hear, just enough, voices from behind the door in front of him. Leif knew he could need this information. He got himself as close to the door as he could without making it blatant that he was listening.

“I simply need to see how similar the magical grid that you set up in the prototypes is to the magical grid I’ve set up in plant life. The prototypes have similar structures to plants, after all, and yet their magic is very particular. I’d simply like to examine the two of them, see how each of their magic reacts with plants, and see how I could implement my findings into future Guardians.”

Similar structure to plants…? As far as Leif knew, bugs didn’t have a similar structure to plants. Was that a clue to what he was? Although, he was talking about a "magical grid". Perhaps it was just the place where his magic lied that was similar to plants? 

But Leif quickly pushed his thoughts aside so he could continue to track the conversation.

“No can do. It’s too short notice. Maybe I’ll reconsider next week.” Grump replied.

“That’s unreasonable. It’ll be a several minute venture.”

“I don’t even have time for this conversation we’re having.”

“Maybe you should have considered that before you got me interested in your little experiments. You threw a wrench in my own work, you know. But now that I’ve been pushed on this new train of thought, I’d like to see it through. I’m sure you could understand that none of us researchers have the time to wait a week.”

“Hah, spare me. You spend more time decorating your room than you do contributing to our cause. What suddenly makes you so deeply invested.”

“Maybe I’m starting to see the value in your work.”

Leif cringed. Cato’s tone didn’t support that lie at all. He may as well have said that he despised Grump's work, and his personality to boot. But there was a pause. Leif hoped that it somehow worked anyway.

“The security cameras were off last night.”

Leif shuddered. That was the opposite of his hopes.

“A malfunction. They happen. You’re lucky I woke up in the middle of the night. I did a patrol of the lab to ensure nothing was amiss. You can take my report right now, if you’d like.”

Was this fake report the reason for Cato’s lack of sleep? It was certainly a good thing that Cato predicted this, even if he only realized it in the middle of the night.

“Alright. It’s clear your patrol was… thorough.”

That sounded pointed. Leif was becoming more and more unsettled.

“You can thank me by letting me run my tests.”

There was a pause that was far too long. He could hardly take it.

“I’ll move you up to tomorrow. But I cannot do you any better than that. Surely you can experiment with the one I let you have in the meantime.”

This was silence that was coming from Cato’s end. Leif was depending on Cato to make a good move.

“Fine. Thank you for that. What time would be best?”

“Same time tomorrow morning. And next time, don’t bring that… thing in here.”

Leif could practically hear Cato’s hateful expression. But he knew the conversation was coming to a close, so he quickly attempted to look as natural as he could. 

At that, the door slid open again. Cato came out, allowing Leif to see his look of defeat briefly before he went back to looking like all was well. He simply kept going, back where they came, and Leif knew that was his cue to follow. 

Grump stood in the doorway of his office, looking after them with a thoughtful but hard to read expression as they left. 

Leif wished he could find out more information himself right then and there, as he knew Cato didn’t have as much of a way with words as Leif did, but he knew that even opening his mouth at this point may as well have been suicide. 

He had to let it go and keep walking. And so he did.

They reconvened in Cato’s room. Leif told him that he could hear the whole conversation. 

Cato gave a noticeably nervous look at that, but Leif told him not to worry, as while he knew Cato had said something about him and his nature, he didn’t understand it. Leif didn't want him to be concerned with that, on top of everything else. So Cato took that answer, and was perfectly eager to drop that subject.

After that, Cato and Leif discussed the conversation’s implications. Leif expressed his concerns at Grump’s knowledge that the security cameras were off, but Cato assured him that this was alright, and that what Cato had prepared was sufficient. Leif had his doubts, and Cato looked a bit nervous as he said so, but it was clear to Leif that he was trying to keep his own worries to himself. Even if Leif wanted to press the issue, it seemed like there was no point, as nothing could fix any suspicions now.

“You can still sense your sibling, right?”

Leif nodded.

“Good. Keep track of her, make sure nothing goes awry today.”

That was really the best they could do to be on guard. It was a position that made the two of them feel helpless. There were hundreds of other Roaches, and only three of them, and they had to figure out how to fight against the whole system from the inside without being detected. And even with Cato’s inside access and prior knowledge, it felt like everything could still fall apart with the slightest tip of the hand.

Which is why they hoped to distract themselves. There was no point of increasing the odds of their hand being tipped by any further action, so it was best to simply lay low.

“Well, my home is your home, Leif.” Cato finally announced, with enthusiasm that was more forced than it had ever been. “I hope you like to read.”

Luckily for them both, Leif did like to read. He thumbed through all sorts of books, from botany books to history books, slowly passing the time as Cato did his own work.   
Eventually a book on magic caught his eye. He figured, if he was going to be a magical being forever now, that this might be his only opportunity to learn anything about his abilities that wasn’t subjective. 

He read about the properties of crystals, and eventually about how they could interact with life to inspire magical abilities, but a lot of what he read seemed vague and theoretical, which was strange considering how much the Roaches relied on magic. It seemed as if the Roaches discovered how to use crystals and magic as a power source, but couldn't discover why it all worked.

Maybe the Roaches just didn’t have enough personal experience. After all, even something as simple as sensing magic, on its own, was only something Leif and his sibling could do, as far as he understood. No Roach actually knew what magic really felt like, let alone all the intricacies of how to truly use it. 

Leif mused that maybe he should write a book on magic one day.

He then decided to ask Cato some questions about magic for a more first hand account. 

Cato told Leif different things he knew about its properties, like how consciousness could intersect with a magical wavelength to change its internal structure. Leif already understood this for the most part, just without the vocabulary. He told Leif, though, that this merger made particles of magic basically weightless when they were in the grip of consciousness, as the particles and their state would defy the laws of physics for the duration of the user's will.

And from that, Leif got an idea. 

He made a decently sized block of ice, and as he continued to maintain its shape with his mind, attempted to climb on top of it. It was too tough to multitask, though, and the block of ice fell to the ground and shattered. 

Cato watched with excitement as Leif made further attempts. He finally managed to get on top of one, but after he was up there, floating on top of it, he didn't know how to change his attention enough to make it move. It fell once more, taking Leif to the ground with it. 

At that, Leif decided to let that trick go for now.

He and Cato got to talking about the Guardians, after that. Leif was curious about how a Roach could have made these beings. Cato then said that "made" wasn't exactly the whole story. When his mentor told him about Mars and Venus, he said that he "enhanced their capabilities", implying that they did exist, in some form, before his mentor came across them. But Pluto was much more of a creation than the other two. Cato had to build on his mentor's work. He cultivated and cared for a specific plant for decades before it was even ready. He really was glad that the final product turned out similarly to what his mentor had allowed to come to be.

After that discussion, Cato gave Leif a thoughtful look. 

He asked to take Leif's picture, to which he hesitantly agreed. Cato then got to work at making a file in his computer dedicated to him. He said that, with the fact that Leif could sense the artifacts of the Everlasting Sapling, Leif was a sort of Guardian in his own right. Because of that, Cato simply wanted to make a record of it. 

He got to work at typing out some data to go with his picture, and Leif tried to peer over his shoulder a little bit. The Guardians were plants, and Leif may have been "plant like", and Cato was documenting him as a Guardian… maybe he was doing that for more reason than he was saying. 

But Cato looked behind him, saw him peering, and gave him a look. "I wouldn't be hiding anything from you if it wasn't for your own safety…" 

Leif, wishing he could find some rebuttal such that he could finally know the truth about himself, just looked back at him for a while. But he couldn't think of anything to say, so he backed off, and let Cato document whatever he needed to document about him in private.

From there, the time was harder to pass. And with that, the worries they both held grew stronger. 

It was only around then when Leif first sensed a shift in Kjdrira's position, which he found odd seeing as it was so late despite Grump's supposed need of her all day. Cato and Leif mulled that over, but Cato just settled for the idea that Grump was simply being irrational, which Leif could believe. Leif hoped she wasn't going to be put through anything bad, especially now that she knew the truth behind the Roaches' intentions.

The two of them ate, Leif trying his best to be genuinely congratulatory of the meal despite how much the two of them were in their own nervous thoughts. 

Leif's mind was continuing to wander to the worst case scenarios on accident. Notions of the gemstone being fastened back into the pillar such that Leif couldn't remove it, or of a trap being set up in that room. Notions that something was being done to Kjdrira right now that would render her magic unusable, or that she was being talked out of believing the truth that she was just given. 

He tried his best to shake them off, but with every instance that he looked at a clock and saw that far less time had passed than he'd hoped, the thoughts just came back.

After only two hours, Kjdrira was put back in what Leif figured was her cell. He didn't sense anything different about her, and it felt like she didn't do very much when she was out.   
Leif tried his best not to find this odd. After all, maybe she was just put back so another Roach could take her somewhere else. 

But as the time passed and nothing happened, he couldn't take that as anything other than a sign that Grump just didn't want Cato to have access to her. Not before he was ready in some manner, at least.

"Is there really no other way we can make sure that this plan will go smoothly?" Leif finally, suddenly asked.

"We have to make it look like we aren't trying anything as much as possible, now. Tampering with anything at this point, during the day especially, could only make things worse."

Leif understood, but Cato could tell that Leif was only getting more and more concerned. So he jumped in to try and ease his worries, and began to tell him stories from his long life as a Roach. A lot of them were intense and gripping, which did help. Leif thanked him for it, and Cato said he was just glad to share his tales, as it had been a very long time since he was able to.

Finally, the workday ended for the Roaches. Leif asked Cato if they should go and check if the gemstone was still able to be removed, but Cato said that they couldn't risk turning off the cameras again. 

After a little bit of mulling things over, they both just decided to try their luck at going to sleep, despite how early it was for that. It would be the ultimate way to pass the time, after all, and the more sleep they got, the more alert they could be for the decisive day ahead. So Leif lied on the couch, and waited for sleep to take him.

But sleep wasn't coming. Ironically, this was one of the only days where he wasn't managing to fall asleep since being in the lab, and it was the night before he was supposed to finally be making his leave of the place. Leif knew he would be nervous about it all, but he didn't think he was going to be made an insomniac over it. 

Something wasn't right. Leif couldn't shake that feeling.

Eventually, though, something like sleep finally took him, but it was darker than sleep. 

It carried the same fears that he had when Leif was awake. But, without the full attention of his conscious mind, these fears were able to run rampant, and grow as wild and grotesque as they wished. Fears of being pursued by a whole lab of Roaches, Roaches that now weren't interested in capturing him alive, fears of his magic not coming when called for, or of some sort of device or drug that was forced in him to nullify his strength. Fears of being brought back to that metal table he woke up on, being rendered unconscious and able to be messed with to whatever whim someone else had. Of being reprogrammed, stuffed with crystals, shoved in some kind of… shell. It all felt real, and familiar, to whatever part of his mind that was awake enough to regard the information in some way.

But the dreamscape suddenly shifted. It shifted to that moment when he was trapped in the spider's web. When he was bound, unable to move, carried off. And the sleep dart, when it was jabbed into his neck. That moment seemed to play over and over. 

It felt so thoroughly real, the feeling of being constricted, moved, and of having his consciousness slip away…

His eyes fluttered open, for just an instant.

This wasn't a dream.


	6. The Fall

Leif was bound again. There was less silk than when the spider itself wrapped him up, but it was indeed spider silk that he was wrapped with. It was the same crystal infused silk that only the Roaches could have created. And there were Roaches, holding him on all sides. And there was a grogginess in his mind that showed that something was used to keep him asleep.

Until now, at least. 

Now, it was finally catching up to his groggy mind that this should not be happening. He had an impulse to squirm, but he kept still. He needed to keep as still as possible, to make it seem as if he was still out. He couldn't even move his head to get a view of his surroundings.

He began to try and gather his thoughts. Judging by the darkness in the lab as he was being carried along, it was still nighttime. But how could that be? He was supposed to be waking up tomorrow morning, getting ready with Cato to meet up with Kjdrira...

He tensed up. Where was Kjdrira?

He focused, to see if he could sense her. 

She was around after all, not too far away, actually, and seemed to be moving at the same pace he was. Was she captured like this too?

He wanted to look around more than anything, to see if he could get more information, but he knew he’d lose his chance to surprise if he started to move. 

His only chance would be for him to use his magic to break free, to freeze all the Roaches around him, and to wake Kjdrira. Then, combined, they’d be unstoppable.

So, after holding his breath for a moment in apprehension of all the skill he’d suddenly have to employ, he summoned an orb of magic. 

Or, at least, he tried to. But his arm was constricted too tight to his chest, and apparently, in the crystalized web, there was nowhere for the magic to go. Leif tried to produce magic in some other way, perhaps without the use of an orb, but it was rendered inert. He was helpless, just like he was when he was first being dragged away into the lab.

At that realization, Leif finally decided to drop the act. 

He turned to look around him. When he did, he met a scene of all kinds of subjects, in the same state, being held by Roaches and carried in the same direction. Chills went through him. He had assumed that this just had to do with him and his sibling, not the entire lab. Where were they all being taken?

Leif craned his neck to look ahead. They were all headed to a door with a large crystal above it, different from any of the other doors he’d encountered before. Fortunately for him, and it was quite a sad thing to find fortunate, the Roaches seemed indifferent to Leif’s motions indicating that he was awake, so Leif was able to watch where they were all going.

They entered that door, and proceeded into a smaller, more eclectic room. He was able to see, now, that he and his group of Roaches were one of the last groups to enter. 

After they did enter, there was a pause in the procession. Leif strained to look at the front of the crowd, of all the sleeping or confused subjects. His first thought was to look for Kjdrira, but he got distracted by what was happening at the very front. 

At the head of the group, putting gears into a machine that looked to be a disguise for a door key, was Grump.

This time, Leif didn’t hold his magic back from flaring up. It seethed through his webbed constrictions, forcing the temperature to drop rapidly. This caused Grump to look up before placing his last gear, causing him to growl before he continued on. 

But this also caused something else.

“(Leif!!)” He could hear her off to his right.

“(Kjdrira! Can you use your magic?)”

“(No, it can barely work! What’s happening?!)” She seemed even more shaken than Leif was expecting.

“(We don’t know, Cato and us had no idea this would happen! But… we’ll figure something out!)” He called back. 

With that, he got a firm elbow to the ribs, a clear indication to stop talking. But afterwards, the procession continued, and Leif knew he had to focus. If he was to have any sort of opening at any point soon, it would only be for a split second.

In they went, to a large, open room, with water all around an island that was the final frontier of the lab. On this island were countless glass tanks, large enough to fit a bug.

Most of the procession stopped just as they entered the room, but Leif’s group kept going. He looked and saw that Kjdrira’s group did the same. They gave one another a harrowed look once their eyes met, before Leif took in more of their surroundings. The tank they were encroaching on was the biggest one of them all.

Grump stopped in front of it, and so did their two groups. And with that, Grump turned around to address all the Roaches.

“Here we are. Finally, we are in position to shoot our research forward to the utmost level. We’ve been toiling away, looking for the solutions in small details and petty scraps, but here’s the final experiment that will not only answer all of our questions, but put us right in the position that we’d always dreamed of. We will regain our rightful position of power, take the fight back and win back immortality, once and for all!”

The Roaches gave out their own cries of adulation at that, which sickened Leif down to his core. If it wasn’t for the notion that Leif could be put back to sleep over any transgression Grump deemed too far, he would have been countering Grump’s speech right then and there. 

“All we have to do is insert the subjects and fill the tanks, and our auspicious fate will be sealed! Alright, start with the ants and the bees. Then go the beetles. I’ll take care of the moths.”

At that, the groups behind them went to work. He strained to watch the process. They would open a tank, put the struggling subject inside, unwrap and remove the web from it and, before any of them would have a chance to retaliate, shut the door on them. 

Leif, shivering, saw that he would have just one, split second opportunity to make any sort of move.

Grump nodded to the Roaches with their moths in front of him, and turned to open the large tank. The two of them were supposed to go in just one tank, interestingly enough, which he thought might give them a bit more of a chance. 

In the groups went, placing them both down next to each other, and they took a strange tool in order to split their bonds of silk down the middle. 

He could tell that Kjdrira was silently sensing him, waiting to align with his next move, so he simply kept watching.

As soon as they were freed, the Roaches inside quickly replaced themselves with Grump, who positioned himself definitively in the way of the exit. As he stood there, he turned to press the button that would seal the tank.

And, with that, Leif readied his orb, Kjdrira acting in kind. He intended to freeze him solid. He could tell that Kjdrira was still holding back her magic, but he knew it would be sufficient. He just needed her magic to push his far enough to be effective.

In a flash of motion, their magic combined, and Grump was thoroughly enveloped in a burst of pink and ice.

But once the mist cleared, Grump was still standing, unscathed. He smiled a wicked smile as he pushed the button. Leif tried to get up, to scramble out of that final window no matter the risk, but the door slid shut just as he reached it. 

Now, being up close, he saw a strange, glowing badge on Grump's lab coat.

"You can't best me now." Grump crowed in past the glass. "You may have been an unforeseen variable, but I have been planning this for ages! No matter what you think you are, what you could say or do, I was not going to let this opportunity slip away!"

Leif said nothing. There was no time to spend on petty words. 

"(Let's try to break the glass.)" He knew they could only use so much power in such close quarters, but it must have been worth a shot.

Kjdrira got up, and prepared a beam. Leif threw his magic in front, and they fired it. But once again, the glass was virtually unscathed, clearly reinforced by something as well.

They looked at each other, baffled, true hopelessness settling in. All they could really do now was watch.

Grump was congratulating them all, from what they could tell as he was inaudible now, and made a signal to someone on the far right of the room. This Roach was standing in front of a control panel, which had a large lever. And at that, this lever was pulled.

Immediately, a sickly looking liquid came pouring in. Its presence alone made the two of them feel faint almost instantly. It was so evident as a threat, even at that slight increment, that Leif, without even thinking, summoned a shield and enveloped them both. Kjdrira looked at him, speechless. 

They both didn't have any words for a while, as the liquid outside rose to about waist height. They stared outside, watching the other subjects' reactions to the liquid. Most of them responded violently, right away, and then quickly passed out, being relegated to floating masses. 

After taking in this sight, the liquid quickly rose to above their height. It was very hard to see past it's murky color, leaving the two of them as the only things visible in a world that was now completely obscured. 

And then, once the liquid reached the right level, they began to float, too, forcing the two of them to lose their footing and tumble over. Shortly afterwards the liquid stopped rushing in, reaching a certain capacity, so they didn’t bob around for long, and eventually settled out. But it shook Leif's focus regardless, making him strain to keep the shield up. 

It was a lot harder to hold up against the liquid than it was against plain air. 

Kjdrira could sense his difficulty. "(Are you alright?)" 

Leif didn’t say anything. He knew he didn’t need to. After all, he needed to save his strength. He intended to keep that shield up for as long as he could possibly manage. If they couldn’t see out of the foggy liquid, then the Roaches wouldn’t be able to see in either, right? So eventually the liquid would drain, eventually they’d have another chance, eventually…

Kjdrira sensed his panic. In hopes of aiding him, she did her best to calm herself down. 

“(You know, we’ll be alright.)” She said, in an attempt to bolster her changed mood. “(The Roaches may do painful, frightening things, but they don’t want to get rid of us. They need us, whatever their reason is... )”

The tension was easier for Leif to bear in her calming aura. He appreciated it, but once her words started up, he didn’t know how to feel. She was just trying to help him calm down, trying to do so from what she was used to, being here for so long. But to Leif, something seemed… different. This didn’t seem normal. This was desperate, this involved each and every subject, this didn’t even seem properly tested…

“(So we’ll still be able to escape, after this is over. We still have our plan, and the Roaches still don’t seem to know about it, even if this is strange. Once this passes, we’ll be able to see the sun, and our loved ones again.)”

No, that didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel true. Leif didn’t want to feel that way. He didn’t want to disbelieve her, and he didn’t want to doubt that he could see the ones he loved again. There really should still be hope. 

But, something in him, whatever formed this instinct to create the shield they were contained in… that part of him couldn’t believe it. The moment he sensed that liquid, he knew it had more implications than just an uncomfortable experiment, than just something that could fade the next day.

Kjdrira’s calm started to wither in Leif’s doubt. It was a thin sheet that crumbled in an instant. After all, she truly felt the same things he did. She had just lived longer, in this lab, with ignoring those doubts. She knew how to trick herself into believing otherwise. But now that she knew the truth...

With both of them feeling the true force of their uncertainty, their fear, the relief Leif had was gone. His shield shifted in the grip of his consciousness.

“(Sorry!)” Kjdrira let out in anguish. He could feel her attempting to piece back together some semblance of composure, without much success.

“(N-no, don’t be.)” Leif stammered out. “(We understand.)”

They were silent again, floating in their anxiety in the same way that they floated in that tank. The only hope either of them had was that Leif could hold up, and that the liquid would go away. 

But Leif was really starting to struggle. Each moment that passed caused his limbs to shake, his breath to quiver. And really, how long had he really kept this up? Minutes? How long would he _have_ to keep it up? If he was already struggling this much, could he really do it?

“(We wish we could help, but our magic isn’t like ice. It’s always painful.)” She knew he couldn’t take it much longer. Adding her magic would be the only means of support.

“(Pain would be better than whatever fate this liquid intends to bring us.)”

She was hesitant, but she could feel his determination. 

She attempted to replicate what Leif did to form his shield. It caused its translucent blue to shine with a new, purplish hue. Sure enough, the surface of the shield they rested on began to sting, but an immense pressure was taken off of Leif. Sharing it, they could manage for much longer.

Leif turned to her to give her a smile, but all of a sudden, something shifted. It seemed as if the liquid was pouring again. Whatever capacity they filled it to, there must have still been room in the tank. Did combining their power cause a glow, which alerted the Roaches to the fact that they weren’t drowned yet?

There was more shifting, which wasn’t so hard for both of them to defend against, but after a few moments came a pressure. The pressure was immense. The liquid now had nowhere else to go now but in their bubble. Even the two of them, together, quickly became unable to handle it.

“(Leif! We’ll see each other after this! We just… have to!)” Kjdrira cried out.

There was nothing more they could do, and Leif was finally being forced to accept it. The solitary thing that Leif could do, in their final moments of dry air, was hope that Kjdrira was right.

“(Yes…! We believe you!)” He couldn’t spurn her optimism now.

“(See you… when we wake up.)” She said, letting her magic die.

“(See you too.)” He managed to say, before his magic collapsed in on him.

The liquid rushed in with unbelievable force, splitting them apart instantly. Leif was thrown towards the glass by the liquid’s current.

In his final, brief moments of consciousness, he saw what looked like tentacles flailing outside…

Leif let out a cough. Then came more. They were harsh, demanding that the furthest depths of his lungs expel anything that was in them. 

All he knew was that coughing fit for a while, but once it finally began to subside, he sat up, feeling stiff and unwell. 

Once he got past the discomfort sitting in him, he became conscious of the floor beneath him, and the fact that he was breathing actual air. Which lead him to recall what had happened just before.

Leif threw his eyes open. But they couldn’t see quite right. He rubbed at them with his arm, seeming to remove some kind of film. His eyes blinked open, and the sight practically flung him back in shock. 

His whole arm was a strange shade of blue. 

He looked down, and so was the rest of his body. His wings, too, were blue, but deeper. He looked up, and saw the tank from which he came. It was broken, a maw wide with sharp, jagged teeth. In it he saw his reflection, confirming his being blue all the way around. He stared back at his own face, at his eyes, which were a disturbing, blinding white.

He got up, slowly making his way on shaken legs to the tank’s glass. But as soon as he got there, his intention to further observe his features was completely overshadowed by his latent recognition of all the broken glass. 

He was just in that tank. What caused it to break like… that?

At that, a harrowing scream raked through the air. Leif was instantly consumed with a feeling of dread.

He looked around. Somehow, the sound seemed to come from all around him, so he couldn’t discern the source. But, in looking, his eyes stopped on a scene of utter destruction.

There were broken tanks everywhere, along with debris and Roaches, panic stricken, running around, trying to fix something, anything, in the place.

But there were also a few tubes that weren’t broken. And in them, through the murky water, Leif saw… something strange. 

The silhouettes weren’t bugs, not really. In each of the tubes, there were long, thin strands…

Leif was about to make his way out of this room, to try and understand what was causing such an incredible scene, when there was another horrible cry. The sound seemed to claw at his very soul, in an utterly inexplicable way. It… hurt him. Made him feel like he’d lost something important.

And then it hit him like a boulder. 

Kjdrira. Where was she?

And as soon as he reached out to sense her… 

What he got back… wasn’t right.

He was so filled with horror at this feeling that he could do nothing but stand there, locked in the sensation. Somehow, he knew this sensation was still her, but it was wrought with a kind of static. A dark, violent sensation was coursing through it, trying to find a way to destroy what of his sibling was still within. 

He stayed stunned stiff, save for a tremble in his body and faint tears pricking at his eyes. But slowly, he regained some sense of himself. He forced himself to turn towards the source of that feeling.

And, just a little way away, was…

Leif stumbled back, barely keeping his footing. 

In front of him was a huge, grotesque creature. A huge featureless tentacle, worming its way through the body of a moth that was stretched in an attempt to match its size. There was no more face on this creature, only the tip of the white, slithering intruder, which twisted around in what Leif could only assume was a means of sensing its environment.

Leif was paralyzed, watching, as the creature twisted itself in order to regard him.

Instantly, Leif felt something new. 

It was grief. Utter anguish. The feeling seemed to writhe under each one of Leif’s shaky, fearful breaths.

“Kjdrira… mebsrgr…?!”

The creature gripped its own vague approximation of a head at Leif’s words. It squirmed, thrashed, and each motion sent even more sadness, rage, confusion, horror, _upset_ , into Leif’s very core.

This wasn’t some creature that took Kjdrira’s body. This… this was Kjdrira.

If Leif could think, he’d be trying to piece this together. Trying to figure out how this could be. How Kjdrira could have become _that_ , just from some strange liquid. 

But he couldn’t think. All the emotions consumed him, and as the grip of paralysis left him from the realization that this really was his sibling, he became a crumpled mess, tears streaming from his sobs. 

He slowly walked up to her, wishing he could do something, anything, to ease her pain, to ease the horrible things she must have been feeling… and to ease his own loss.

She shrunk back however, letting out more of her cries, though these were softer, closer to Leif’s own.

“(We… we’re so sorry.)” 

Leif couldn’t think of anything else to say, to offer her now.

She shook, and came a little closer. It was clear she didn’t want him to feel that way. 

And so Leif came closer too, until he was up against her strange new form. 

As unnerving and wrong as it all was, this was still her, and somehow, Leif was still comforted in her presence. As much as he knew she had been warped, as much as it was clear that he’d lost her, they could still have this moment, in memory of what they had been as siblings.

Until something else entered into the scene.

“OBEY ME!!!”

The shout was followed by a strange, blue object being hurled at Kjdrira. It was tiny compared to her. It bounced off harmlessly.

The two of them turned. There, a little ways behind Leif, was Grump.

Instantly, the emotional resonance between Leif and Kjdrira completely transformed into a white hot anger. 

On a vengeful instinct that was so strong it moved Leif’s arms all on its own, Leif threw an orb and forced it through the ground right below him. He hurled it up in a decisive strike, and spread the ice around him with all the power he could muster.

Grump didn’t freeze. He still had that loathsome badge. But he surely felt the pain of the impact.

Leif wandered up to him, a heap on the ground.

“Please… I didn’t want this! Don’t hurt me!”

Leif sneered, anger curling his fingers, and still radiating in his soul. 

He didn’t intend to kill. He was above that. But Leif already knew this poor, detestable Roach’s fate.

“We will not hurt you now. But you’re in for a fate worse than death.”

Leif turned to Kjdrira. “(He’s all yours. You deserve revenge, if nothing else.)”

There was a pause. Miraculously, even like this, even with all of the pure anger he could feel flowing through them both, she still paused. 

And then Leif sensed something new. A desire. It told Leif to go, to leave this place. She knew he still had a chance to escape, to return to his before, even if she had this no longer. And she wanted him to do it, and wanted him to not remember her for what she was about to become.

Leif understood. He gave her a decisive nod.

“(Goodbye, Kjdrira…)” Those words put a quiver back in his voice, and fresh tears in his eyes. “(I’ll escape, for both of us.)”

With that, Kjdrira summoned an orb of magic. It was large, and blinding in its color. But after it appeared, it got stuck in her chest, left there to constantly radiate. It caused something to shift, in her. 

The feeling of Kjdrira being Kjdrira that had still been within her, it started to fade out. That violent, dark, painful static, it overshadowed everything else. The last shreds of her personality were being burnt to cinders. 

With that, she let out a final cry holding the last of her sense of self, shredding the air with all that was left of her grief, fear, and guilt.

Leif turned and ran. He severed his connection to that feeling behind him. He didn’t want to know the result of it, just as she wished it. All that there was behind him now was a dark creature, and his sibling… she was no more. 

And with that, the room was filled with the glow of fuschia, and the roar of unrestrained magic.

Leif left the large, tank ridden room behind, and out he emerged into the room with that strange machine as a door lock. He stopped at the entryway, took a moment to cough and attempt to catch his breath from all the running, all the crying… 

He finally looked up, taking in a new distressing scene. All around were subjects, but they too were wrought with more of those strange, white tentacles. They were violently revolting against Roaches all around the room.

Now that Leif, though still teary eyed, had a chance to think without quite so many emotions swirling inside him, he began to actually consider what these white tentacles could mean. 

He looked back on what happened with Kjdrira, through the pain of it all, in search of answers. From what he could tell, that tentacle didn’t take Kjdrira over, nor did she transform into it, or anything like that. She… she was that. That was where all her senses, all her emotions and will, that’s where it was coming from, not from the remnants of her body that were left behind…

And now there were these subjects. They, too, all had the same tentacles. And what applied to Kjdrira must have applied to other subjects, too.

And Leif, too, was a subject…

Leif’s mind was ringing. It was reaching out for something, but he didn’t know what. There was a connection to be made here, but... Leif couldn’t line it up.

His eyes wandered to the upper corner of the room. There they were, the same white tentacles. They were all over the ceiling, coming out from wherever there was dirt instead of solid tile. There were even mushrooms that were topped with these tentacles. Somehow, he didn’t notice them before. 

And, from what he heard from Cato, what Leif really was, was like a plant. And mushrooms were like plants...

His heart was sinking, as the realization was finally starting to form in his mind.

“Leif! Thank the gods!”

The voice broke his concentration right before his thought could finish. The voice was coming from above him. He looked up, and saw Cato, shaky, crouched on a rock ledge next to a broken dirt wall.

“Cato! How did you get up there?”

“I dug my way through the wall. Once the noise finally woke me up, the security cameras told me all I needed to know. I didn’t want to risk running into one of… these, so I buckled down and started digging.”

Leif was about to say something back, but he saw that one of the crazed subjects was eyeing him. Leif needed to get up to where Cato was. 

He jumped on a desk, onto an overturned monitor, and then, lacking any other idea, formed a block of ice, got on top of it, and willed himself to float the block over to Cato’s ledge.

Panic really could be a good motivator, at times.

“Phew, good job.” Cato said, voice weary from fear.

“What… what happened?” Leif asked with shaky breaths. Now that he seemed to be safe, and with another sentient, sane bug, he tried to calm himself down some.

“...A secret experiment. The room behind this one didn’t have any security cameras installed in it. Those damned fools must have known they were being utterly mad! No wonder they didn’t want me to find out, to stop them from their own ruin…” 

Cato was shriveled. Normally he looked kind of stoic despite his old age. Now, he really looked like a bug that was hundreds of years old. Withered and nearly gone. 

Leif gave Cato as concerned and sympathetic of a look as he could, but he simply didn’t know what to say.

“I guess they were getting frustrated," Cato continued. "They wanted to speed things up, finish making you all into super soldiers to bend to their whims. This is the result.”

He wondered if Cato could help him understand any more of the situation, really. He knew he had plenty of questions, but how many things did Cato really know? He was clearly out of the loop on everything, could he really answer them?

“Why are we… blue?” Somehow his stress addled mind came up with that first. He figured it was the question that was most likely to get an answer.

Cato looked up. “Wow, you really are blue. Can’t tell you how I didn’t notice that until you said so.” At least Cato was stressed enough to be acting odd too. “Well, look at the other subjects. They’re all muted in color. Really, the fact that you’re still pretty brightly colored must show that you weren’t in that liquid for long.”

“Well, the room ahead was filled with tanks. Ours was broken. K-... Kjdrira, she... “ He had to use all his strength just to talk about it. “She turned into this huge, white tentacle.” He knew that wasn’t really the whole story, but it was all he could bring himself to say. “She must have broke the tank open, in time for me to not have been affected.”

“Your sibling…! I’m… so sorry.” Cato looked stunned and saddened to hear this himself. “B-but no, if it affected her that way then you-” Cato stopped himself, much to Leif’s distress.

“Cato, tell me! What are we?” Leif prompted. Cato couldn’t have stopped him from figuring out what he was now even if he tried. He was so close to figuring it out all on his own just before.

“Actually, that oil I gave you… that must have done it! It was just enough of a barrier that it kept the liquid’s effects from reaching you!” It was a realization that he did something of value, despite the whole mess. He breathed with a bit more ease, at that.

To Leif, however, it just seemed like he was dodging the question, and in all this chaos, all this stress, the loss… he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Cato, just tell us what we are! There is no conceivable way to hide it anymore, not now! We don’t care if it kills us, everyone in this lab may as well be dead now! What do we have to do with these strange tentacles? They’re everywhere, coming out of the dirt, even on mushrooms, and we… just…! What _am I?!”_

With that outburst, something clicked. White tentacles coming from mushrooms, the same things growing out of all the subjects, similar to a plant… a fungus. 

And that fungus… that was Kjdrira. Her body was limp and dying, and yet she was still there, able to communicate with him in the same way they always had, save for a lack of words.

And he could still hear her. He, at his core. Not… himself as Leif. Leif couldn’t communicate with fungus. So what would have made that possible? 

And them being siblings, that didn’t come from himself as Leif, either. Leif had no siblings. All that devotion, that love for Kjdrira, that all came from him.

The strange language, the dreams of being put in a shell, the “we” in his speech…

“I… I’m a cordyceps, aren’t I?” Leif whispered, lost in the shock of it all.

Cato just stared at him, fear clear on his features. This was surely the knowledge that Cato had said was deadly, after all.

Leif… or was he even Leif at all? He didn’t know how to process this. He wasn’t the bug who got captured and brought in here. 

And yet, he _remembered_ everything. As much as he consciously knew he was a cordyceps, at this point, he still couldn’t grasp how that could be, with his memories the way they were. They were so strong, so clear. If he wasn’t Leif, why would Leif’s memories be stronger than his own?

But the Roaches, Grump in particular, never referred to his memories as memories, only as thoughts. Grump talked about them as if they asserted themselves into his head, like a paranoid thought or a wandering daydream. 

Did… Leif’s memories really take him over? Did he have memories before? 

Who… even was he? 

And who was Leif, if he was here? They couldn’t both be him, at the same time, could they? If he, a cordyceps, was the individual now then Leif… the person he inhabited, the person his loved ones had always known… What had become of him?

“Leif!” Cato was snapping his fingers in front of him. How many times had he called his… that name? Did this realization cause him to zone out that much?

Once Cato saw that he had his attention, he began to speak. “Please, just… keep being Leif. You don’t have to worry. You’re still intact, you can still leave this place, live your life. But just… keep that purpose. Keep going.” He was practically begging.

What happened to that first Zommoth Prototype that made Cato so afraid of Leif discovering what he truly was? What kind of a strange creature loses its will to live after learning the truth of what it really is?

But then again, what kind of strange creature takes on someone else’s life? What kind of creature makes itself at home in someone else’s memories, someone else’s body, puts itself back in the family of another person…?

How was Leif’s life suddenly his to take?

Was Leif… even still alive, now?

He suddenly started to feel faint. He knew he didn’t feel good already, but it was all suddenly catching up to him. This was just too much. All the destruction, the loss of his sibling, that was already too much, but now, now even his losses, or were they Leif’s losses, they were mixing into it all. And he didn’t even know who he was, if he could still even say he had a purpose at all, now that he had this knowledge…

“Listen to me!” Cato nearly screamed. He had zoned out again, and must have looked as if he was losing consciousness. He was surely giving Cato a real scare, but he couldn’t help it, now. 

“I need you to do at least this. The lab needs to be sealed away. These subjects… if they escape, they could do real harm to all of bugkind. Surely you still care about this, do you not?”

He was having trouble grasping all that he was saying over his own roaring mind, aching body and waining will, but he nodded genuinely at that.

“Go through with the escape plan. Take the gemstone out of its pedestal. With that, these creatures should be unable to escape from Snakemouth Den. And… us Roaches, we need to face our sins.”

He took this in, and then he rubbed his forehead, trying to dredge back up his… thoughts, on the Roach dialect. 

“But... what about you? These aren’t... your sins. Will you not escape... now that everything is falling apart?”

Cato shook his head. “I don’t intend to die here with everyone else, but I have unfinished business that I must complete. And this lab needs to be sealed as soon as possible. That can't wait for me.”

He gave Cato a long, forlorn look. All in one sudden incident, it seemed, he was losing everyone he came to hold dear, and everyone he had thought he held dear, all at once.

“Please… Promise me you’ll do it. That you’ll seal the lab.” Cato pleaded, into the eyes that must have looked very distant to him, especially now that they were pure white.

He gathered himself again, and nodded firmly. Even with all he was unsure of, the one thing he could be sure of was that this violence, this chaos, could not be allowed out into the real world.

“Thank you…” Cato sighed. “Come with me. Going through my lab will be a shortcut.

The two of them made their way through the dirt hole that Cato managed to construct, and came back into his room, a pocket that was still untouched by everything, though the sounds of destruction still managed to pour through the walls.

He walked to the door on the far side, and Cato went to his computer to open the lock. But before he did so, he spoke up one final time. “Please, leave this cave. Go into the sun. You deserve it. And... know that you really do have the power to keep this world safe.”

He didn’t know how to respond. But the door opened, as if Cato knew he wasn’t going to get a response. He turned back before heading out, to see Cato letting a few tears of his own go.

He did his best to take Cato’s words to heart before making his leave.

He went down the dusty stairs, towards the sounds of havoc that no one should ever need to go towards. He entered into the main lab, and was faced with more of the same destruction, Roaches barely fending off cordyceps behemoths. Was that what he would have become if the liquid had gotten any closer to him?

Was that why he was feeling so weird, now? Was it more than just the truth of what he was? Was the liquid just taking its time to take effect?

No, these were the kinds of thoughts he needed to stave off. He just needed to get to the exit.

Luckily, it wasn’t too hard, with how wrapped up the subjects were in the Roaches in particular. 

It was nigh an invitation for him to exact his own revenge on the Roaches, to push any he saw out of his way with forceful magic, but he was simply too... tired, to consider that.

Eventually, though, just as he was about to reach the door, a few subjects quickly got the desire to attack him. They, too, were speaking in his language, muttering things like "(go back!)" and "(we won't let you leave this place!)". But he wasn't about to speak back to them. All he had the will to do was to muster up whatever strength he could find. He formed block after block of ice above them, sending a barrage at these subjects, wanting there to be no chance that he was stopped in doing the last thing that made sense, now. Once they were all frozen, he simply moved past them.

Finally, he had reached the main door. He was doubtful that anything could have gotten past the door, at this point.

He went into the room with the moat. A sudden pang of grief came over him with the thought that this is where he and Kjdrira were supposed to have been. They were supposed to have tested their beam on this moat, not on a glass tank that was to doom them so…

But he got to work on crossing. He forged on, ice block by ice block, though even his magic was getting uncertain, tired and worn in his grip. He couldn’t fully understand why he was being affected so deeply, but he was so nonetheless.

But finally, finally, he was on the other side of the moat. Finally, all he had left to do was go through that door and destroy that gemstone. Then he could finally be rid of the lab.

Though, could he ever really be rid of the lab? Who was he, if not a byproduct of that lab and all its horrors?

He shoved that thought away. He needed a clear head for just a little longer.

Through the door he went. On the other side was the blue glowing room, and the gemstone he so desperately needed to destroy, once and for all.

He ran up to it, and ripped it out of the pedestal.

“Kumrwdjk uitha SJEKA!!!”

He threw the gemstone at the wall, shattering it.

Then he stood just there, catching his breath, as the blue faded out of the room and the door behind him sealed shut. 

Despite it all, despite how justifiably angry he should have been, despite how angry he would have been had he still felt he was Leif… that outburst seemed to come out of nowhere.

And, now that it had passed, he just felt… dead.

He looked ahead, out those huge doors that were somehow open now, out to the cave that mostly looked like just a normal cave, to the pocket of dawny sunlight that managed to make its way in there through a crack in some ceiling rock.

The notion of continuing on, of attempting to leave Snakemouth Den, of going to… whatever may or may not have belonged to him at all, now, somehow, it just seemed unbearable.

But Cato’s words still managed to push him forward. He put one foot in front of the other, slowly but surely, and pressed on.

As he took each shaky step, his mind went to what it would be like to enter Bugaria. Would he act as if nothing happened, as if he was still who everyone would think he was, and slip back into Leif’s life? Could he even do this? Did he really even act like Leif, in the end of it all? He may have still had Leif’s memories, and they may have even urged him to go on, to return to his family and loved ones beneath everything else… but was that enough to make him into Leif? Would they know that something was off?

What if Leif’s family, his friends, everyone Leif knew, didn’t take him in as they would have taken Leif? What if they could tell he was an impostor now? Surely that wasn’t so outlandish, now that he was blue and had strange magic powers. How could he still hope that they would love him, even if he, somehow despite it all, still cared for them…?

But, most importantly of all, what if the strange liquid was still affecting him? What if all this lethargy he was feeling was just a latent side effect of the liquid finding its way into him, despite how he had seemed so far? What if he went to Bugaria, only to wake up the next morning a disfigured monster. What if he became the very thing that he had just managed to seal away…?

Suddenly, his next step didn’t go where he expected it to.

Somehow, he was so lost in thought that he didn’t even see the trap door, still open and unhinged, right in front of him.

It was too late to catch himself now. He was falling, and part of him was even starting to feel it was for the best. He simply couldn’t sort out his thoughts, simply couldn’t decide what he should do, what he should think, what he should be. And, really, if there was any chance that he could become a menace to all of bugkind… he needed to be sealed away, where there was no chance of such a horrible fate befalling him or anyone else, especially not those Leif’s memories still compelled him to care about.

He hit the ground, hard. Even if he intended to, he probably couldn’t have gathered the strength to get back up.

He quickly fell into a long, much needed sleep.

For a while, he just slept. His mind was blank, save for dreams that would come and go to be forgotten. But eventually, as time washed over him, moving slow, something like consciousness began to form in his sleep. Just enough for him to think, regard his mind, but not enough to show him that he was sleeping, or that he had the ability to wake up.  
He knew that, now, he could start to lazily attempt to form some kind of a conclusion on himself. 

He wanted to try a hand at finding some of his own memories, memories he had formed, that weren't stolen, from whatever life he had before.

But, as he looked, all he could find were the mere moments before he was augmented with magic and put into Leif's body. He… had a vague impression of being programmed. Altered, changed, maybe irreparably? He didn't have any memories, not before that, that he could find, now. Maybe he should have been bothered, by that. But like this, so close to sleep, he couldn't find the will to mind.

He faded back to dreaming. But he looked at the dreams, this time. Dreams of a childhood, with caring parents that were highly regarded. Dreams of a queen, one who it was a gift to be in the presence of. Dreams of a lover, with whom true solidarity could be achieved. And, even, dreams of children, never met but invariably cared for.

He wanted to know more about these people. So he searched his mind, the only mind he had and the only thing he had to look at, now, in this limbo. He immersed himself in the memories, relived the moments with all his languid, endless time, until he could have recited every word they held, if he wished. He felt the emotions of it all, the care, devotion, love, and it filled him with life, unlike the sense of death that seemed to consume him, hold him in this sleep.

Leif… cared about these people so. And so did he, now. And he, well, he cared about Leif. He cared so much that regarding the name alone filled him with emotions, of pride, calm, confidence…

His consciousness drifted, in and out of the name. In the limbo, with nothing of his old self and everything of this new one, it was hard to remember that he wasn't Leif, wasn't supposed to be Leif. But the time continued flowing, and time could take things away. And he was willing to let forgetfulness take away the things he disliked the most.

After all, every time his mind even went near the lab, the Roaches, the… sibling that was gone, it stung. Those thoughts pushed him away. The only reminders he had to keep him from fully becoming the memories and identity that he was now left with, those thoughts, and their pain, didn't want him to look at them, anyway.

Leif was never put through painful, torturous experiments. Leif was never regarded as nothing more than an object. Leif… had no siblings.

Eventually, the pain was given up for the pleasure. And, as such, the nameless space that he had been preserving in an attempt to retain what he felt was the truth, that space faded too. He needed a name, memories, an identity, after all. And he didn't have to look far for them.

Leif… Leif let himself finally just be, in his happy dreams, in his comforting sleep, and let the uncomfortable past he was made to know fade from view.

But, after a while, Leif could feel a sort of shift. His body, it was being taken by something. Moved, and wrapped up, and put somewhere up high.

That's right… the spider. Leif had been captured by a spider. That was painful, but it gave him context. A reason for why he couldn't wake up, why he was asleep to begin with. 

This thought even caused him to stir, just a little bit, but the web that was now around him held him tight, and cradled him back to sleep.

The spider reminded him of how much he wanted to keep all the bugs he knew safe. Zephyr, Muse, the ants and people of Bugaria under Elizant's care, and his future children, he wanted them all to be safe. He told them to leave, after getting caught in this web, in order to keep them safe, and he wanted nothing more than to uphold that wish. 

And… somehow, he had the feeling that he had the power to do this. Not only for his loved ones, but for all of bugkind. He had this strange, strong feeling that he could really be some sort of guardian. That maybe, even, that was his destiny.

Finally, there was something different. Shaking of the web he was stuck to, and shouts. They slowly but surely roused him from his sleep.

He fell to the ground, being released from the webbing that bound him, and was lifted and carried off by a bug that was strong but a little frazzled. 

He was put back on the ground, freed from constraints, as the loud voices continued on either side of him.

Finally, in coming awake, he coughed, coughs that rid from him the last dregs of whatever it was that seemed to be keeping him stuck asleep.

"...Let's turn over a new leaf, Vi. This moth is our priority." This was the first sentence he was able to understand. Those words... they were nostalgic. Somehow it felt like a while since he last heard words like those.

Then, to hasten his final journey to consciousness, the bug who carried him began to nudge him. 

Leif, finally, opened his eyes, and got to his feet, in front of the bee and the beetle that had rescued him from the spider’s web.

"...Mjaj? Ajeukx, yrdiuf. ...Ghsiaoenbx?" 

What was this? These weren't the words he was looking for to say, but they were all he could put together.

"What the... Hey! You okay? You hit your head?" 

"Jsgsn. Sjaika? Hsjaosidjs..." 

Maybe he had, for all the sense this made. He kept looking for the words that these bugs were speaking, words that he knew he used, but muscle memory seemed not to be offering them.

"Could this moth be speaking in an ancient tongue? Perhaps he is of the fabled tribes lurking underground."

Language... yes, that's what this was about. These strange words came from a language he knew, somehow, and it was the only one his sleep hazy mind put forth, but it was not the one he was hearing, not the one he remembered so fondly...

...Bugnish. That's what it was called.

"...N-no. We can speak Bugnish."

We?

Well, that must have just been the way he always spoke.

Leif looked down at his arm.

Blue.

Was he always blue...?

Yes, he must have been. Surely he remembered the color of his own body.

"Do you need, like, a minute?"

"..."

Did he need a minute? He had just woken up, and things were already starting to feel strange.

But, well, he had just woken up. And it felt like he made a decision, somehow, that he wasn't going to worry about things like these.

Not until he was back home, reunited with his loved ones, at least.

"...No. We are fine now."


End file.
